Posts Tagged ‘keyboard confessions’

Keyboard Confessions

1.  You know, I was beginning to think no one read these confessions until I skipped last week.  Then I had all kinds of questions- “Where are the Confessions??”  “Kearsie, did you disappear?”  “Please will you continue doing your Confessions??”

2.  …Ok, that might be a bit of a stretch.  It was only one person who noticed.  And she didn’t ask questions.  It was more like “Dude, there’s some Confessions missing from your blog.”

3.  So I like to read into things, ok?

4.  I don’t own a robe.  This is not really interesting at all, but this is what I was thinking of when I fell asleep last night.

5.  However, even if I owned a robe, I don’t think I’d ever have time to wear it. 

6.  My life is so not like the movies.  I don’t wake up at 4:30 a.m., shower, walk around in a robe for an hour with perfectly styled hair, slowly sipping on a cup of coffee, having witty banter with my kids at the breakfast table.

7.  Nay.  My mornings usually are more like repeating one phrase over and over:  hurry up!!!  we’re gonna be late!!!  hurry up!!!  we’re gonna be late!!! and then leaving the house with wet hair. 

8.  So, I think I’m ok with no robe.

9.  I’d much rather have a Snuggie.  To match Edward.

10.  It turns out, most of the folks around me think I’ve taken things a bit too far with my Edward doll.  Dude, what is so wrong with sewing a tshirt for Edward doll?  I don’t make fun of anyone else’s hobby, unless you collect Dale Earnhart, Jr. plates or something.  Then, hey, you’re just asking for it.

11.  …if one of you precious readers collects Dale Earnhart, Jr. collectable plates, I promise I will not make fun of you.  And I might even let you hold Edward doll.

12.  Sometimes, my office chair sinks down.  I’m pretty sure this is nature’s way of saying I’ve put on some weight.

13.  I gave my girls this tiny Christmas tree that stands about 1 foot tall.  They put it in their Barbie Mansion.  It needed lights, so I went to Walmart and found a tiny strand that is battery operated. They are super cute.  But guess what?  I’m pretty sure the light makers soaked the strand in cat pee.  The words “it stinks” is clearly understated.

14.  I found a tiny Santa coat.  That’s all I’m gonna say.

15.  My Hubs says after Christmas I am not allowed to sew or knit for a few months.  I suppose hearing me constantly complain of the pain in my wrist is a bit annoying.

16.  Guess what?  When your wrist is in constant pain having to sign 900 gagillion office Christmas cards is SO.MUCH.FUN.

17.  By Card # 3 I was like “screw it” and just basically scribbled.

18.  That’s ok, they can’t pronounce my name anyways.

19.  If anyone is missing some boogers, it’s because they are all in my nose.

20.  I have a date on Saturday.  So if you see the boogery nose lady all wrapped up in a hat and gloves, that would be me. 

Happy Friday!

Keyboard Confessions

1.  My bestie, Robin, is here from Alaska.

2.  This means I went to bed very very late.

3.  No one is allowed to talk about New Moon with me.  Because me and The Bestie won’t be going until tomorrow.

4.  Also, I’m suspecting The Hubs is jealous of not getting to see New Moon with me.

5.  I also am suspecting that Snuggie could be suing me over yesterday’s Adventures with Edward post.

6.  Wouldn’t that totally suck?  “Why are you doing time, Kearsie?”  “Oh, I killed a man, did a B & E at my bank, I made a Snuggie for my Twilight Doll”. 

7.  I bet those inmates would think I was so hard core.

8.  I wonder if I could bring my Edward doll to jail?  That’d make a killer post “Adventures with Edward: Edward does time for an infomercial”.

9.  Oh my gosh, I’m totally tearing up thinking about Edward in jail.

10.  Ya’ll, I am not totally tearing up thinking about Edward in jail.  I just say that stuff.  *wipes eyes*

11.  One more Christmas gift down.  Since you’re all curious of my progress.

12.  It’s kind of embarrassing how The Bestie will see how little I work.

13.  I’m trying to type away so it looks like I’m busy.  However, she just watched me typing my blog, so I don’t think she’s all that impressed.

14.  It’s so liberating to have friends you can talk about poop with and they don’t ditch you.

15.  It’s also liberating that some friends have Edward dolls and don’t judge.

16.  The Runner just made The Bestie shred paper. 

17.  The Bestie just jammed up the shredder.  Now she’s all panicked.  I’m just laughing.

18.  I’m suuuuch a good Bestie.

19.  Also I have suuuuch a headache.  Can you get a hangover from late night talking? 

20.  Ok, The Bestie wants dibs on this last Keyboard Confession.  She says they’ve totally worn out that Taylor Swift song “You Belong With Me”.  Word, Bestie.  Word.

Happy Friday.

Keyboard Confessions

1.  Today is Friday the 13th.  I really hope I see someone dressed up in a hockey mask with a knife in hand or else the hype of this day will be lost. 

2.  Take my advice:  don’t eat a banana and then immediately drink from a soda can.  Trust me on this. 

3.  *Burp*  ugh…gross.

4.  Guess what?  Painting for 5 hours straight will kill your arms.  I know, I was surprised too.

5.  I totally stole the Hubs’ new jacket.  I’m not giving it back.  Ever.  *cuddling in the soft squishiness of the jacket*

6.  Pennies are money.  Except guess what?  No one likes it when you use pennies in the Self-Checkout lines at Wal-Mart.  Trust me on this.

7.  Ever wanted to be a Ninja?  Alls you gotta do is learn to Glare.

8.  Now in case you’re like me and end up stabbing yourself in the forehead and eyeball trying to do the complicated hand gesture thingy, here is a tutorial.  Yes I’m serious.

9.  You’re welcome.

10.  I have obtained three more Christmas gifts.  That makes a total of five.  I am still very very very behind. 

11.  I’m very glad to say that my love for Party in the USA has waned.  I only watch the video like…three times a week.  Tops. 

12.  I let some folks in on the upcoming Adventures with Edward posts.  There was a whole lot of staring.  Most of it was by The Hubs.

13.  Do you think the Queen gets on the innernets? 

14.  Do you think the Queen reads my blog?  I know, she’d totally love it.

15.  Do you think Stephenie Meyer reads my Adventures with Edward?  I know, she’d totally LOL.  Or sue me, one of the two.

16.  I’ve given up on making risotto.  It’s just too much pressure to be a good cook. 

17.  Hubs and I just switched sides of the bed.  Which means it feels like I’m totally getting up on the wrong side of the bed.

18.  Today is the last day to enter this giveaway:  http://www.wendiwinn.com/2009/11/giveaway-13.html

19.  I super hope I win. 

20.  Happy Friday!

Keyboard Confessions

1.  I got to thinking the other day.  I’m turning 34 this month, and if I make it all the way to 68 then this is my middle of my life.  Which means I’m middle-aged.  Which means it’s ok to have a mid-life crisis.  Should I do something uber crazy?  Like get a tattoo or dye my hair?  Or maybe just make tacky jokes.  That’s way less high maintenance.

2.  What does it say about me that I did not mind that Blockbuster is already promoting Christmas movies?  Too bad Hubs has rules. 

3.  I told Co-worker that I was sad at how much I like that Party in the USA song.  She responded with “What can I say, she captivates the world”.  She said this without cracking a smile.

4.  hahaahahahahaah still laughing at that

5.  Going to see Christmas Carol in 3D tonight.  I am wondering if it’s ok to eat Twizzlers as my dinner. 

6.  I bet there’s fiber.  Or, umm, Vitamin something or other. 

7.  Speaking of fiber, I ate two Fiber One granola bars yesterday.  I won’t tell you how my evening went.

8.  But don’t worry, everything came out all right. 

9.  I am itching to delete that last sentence.  But I’m going through my mid-life crisis, see, so I’m supposed to say rash and bold things like that.  Right?  Erm.

10.  Maybe I should just dye my hair.  I can’t handle the pressure of bold and rash statements. 

11.  I cleaned my laundry room the other day.  It’s all nice and clean and lint free and you can see the sparkly floor.  Hubs found me in there the other day just standing around.  He asked, “What are you doing in there?”  I said, “It’s the only clean room in the house.  I just like to hang out in here.”  He blinked a few times and walked away.  Poor Hubs.  

12.  I dreamed last night that my mother in law came into our house in the middle of the night.  Then she left a choir book and a CD with a note that said “Be there this Sunday to sing this”.  And I was panicked.  I bet Freud would have all kinds of weird stuff to say about this.  I personally think I shouldn’t have eaten all those Wheat Thins right before bed.

13.  But then I dreamed that I was taking my kids to school and parked like a zillion blocks away and made them walk.  That must’ve been all the Pink Lemonade I drank.

14.  Don’t ask the Subway Sandwich Builder Guy how his day was unless you really want to know.  Because apparently the guy who works near me had an awful day and he hates his job.   

15.  He wasn’t very interested in putting together my sandwich.  Two olives do not make a tasty sandwich.

16.  Also, I can’t handle all the decisions.  Toasted?  Not toasted?  That’s just too much pressure.

17.  You know what else is too much pressure?  Besides the fact I have to pee?  Finishing this list.

18.  I’m allowed to quit at #18.  I’m having a mid-life crisis, remember? 

Happy Friday.

Keyboard Confessions

1.  While often on these silly lists I am not really confessing anything, today I shall confess something for real.  Ready?  *Deep breath* I totally love this song.

2.  Let the mocking begin.  Your mocking hurts, but you know I’m gonna be okay, YeaaaAAAaaaaahh, it’s a party in the USA….I don’t care.  Mock all you want. 

3.  I bet you’re so jealous of my weekend plans.  What are my plans, you ask?  I shall be painting my bathroom.  I know.  EXCITEMENT GALORE.  I’m noddin my head like yeah.

4.  What’s worse: the fact that all I have to look forward to is painting my bathroom or the fact that I’m kind of excited to do it? 

5.  It’s all for my BFF.  Why I think she needs to see a painted bathroom when she comes for a visit, I don’t know.  It would be wiser to get the carpet cleaned.  Or exercise.

6.  Also, there is no way I’m going to lose 40 pounds in 27 days.  And I’m movin my hips like yeah.

7.  Remember myspace?  When it was cool?  Sad.  I feel bad for it’s noncoolness.  Anyways, I still go there sometimes because it’s easy to listen to music on myspace.  On facebook not so much.  So I went to myspace and put all the songs on the New Moon soundtrack on a playlist and I’ve been listening to it over and over and over.  I am now ready for the movie.  Brrring it.

8.  Yesterday, my boss sat at my computer when I got up to make some copies.  He heard the soundtrack playing and said “Kearsie likes weird European music”. 

9.  I think I’m just going to do it.  By it I mean open the other box with Edward and Bella.  What do you think?

10.  But I’m not telling my Hubs.  He just won’t get it.  He doesn’t get a whole lot about what I do.  But I provide him clean underwear and the occasional meal, so he doesn’t complain.

11.  Remember when I was all up in Twitter’s armpit?  Well, it’s back to being boring.  And not a boring addiction.  Just boring.  Noddin my head like yeah.

12.  I plan on giving this book for Christmas.  And I hope I get one too.

41QjLMI4dqL__BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_AA240_SH20_OU01_

13.  I think I’m ready to learn to crochet.  All because of this shop.  Also some of her items are mature-ish.  I am not mature-ish so I look and laugh.  And wish I could crochet.

14.  Another confession:  I hunted forever the other day trying to figure out if Robsten are together or not.  I don’t care if you mock me.  It was a boring day and I just wanted to know already. 

15.  Then I sat and listened to Daniel Radcliffe interviews.  This is what happens on a slow day at work. 

16.  I think I know what I’m going to be when I grow up.  I’m going to be a bed-sheet engineer.  Because I can’t find one set of dadgummed sheets to stay on my bed without slipping off the corners.  For real.  I’m going to have a stroke one day screaming at my bed sheets.

17.  Also, I don’t really scream at my bed sheets.  That would make me crazy.  Noddin my head like yeah.

18.  Last night, I was told I’ve been misspelling “Febreze”.  This is almost as bad as the time I was told I misspelled “definitely”. 

19.  It sucks to feel dum.

20.  Wow.  It’s almost physical pain to look at that word spelled wrong.  But you know I’m gonna be okay, YeaaAAAaaahhh, it’s a party in the USA.

Keyboard Confessions

1.  You’re all scratching your head in confusification.  Today isn’t Friday.  But I like to shake things up.  Also I like to go through bouts of writer’s block and have nothing to write other than lists.  One of those statements is true.

2.  I just read some of the best books ever.  I always say that.  But this time I mean it.  Again.  Anyways.  Hunger Games and Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins.  Seriously.  SO GOOD.

3.  The fact that I can only write in lists now has me worried.  If I wrote my own eulogy, I’m pretty sure it’d be a list. 

4.  I spent $7.00 on zit creme from Mary Kay.  It was $7.00 well spent.

5.  When hosting a birthday party at a barn with 9 little girls, pick the hardest craft in the world for them to do, like making a stick horse.  Seriously, it makes the party so.much.fun. 

6.  Also, only buy one glue gun and make the girls stand in a line for an hour and make them take turns getting stuff glued on.

7.  I might be the best party planner ever.

8.  Or I might be just really really dumb.

9.  I had this dream recently that I wrapped myself in Saran Wrap to make myself sweat.  When I woke up, I really had the urge to do this.

10.  Only 87 days left until Christmas.  I am beginning to panic.

11.  I can only knit so fast, you know.

12.  I am also thinking of making some of these cuties.

Black Apple Rag Dolls as seen on Martha Stewart

Black Apple Rag Dolls as seen on Martha Stewart

13.  But if Shauna has a boy, I might need to learn to make one of these.

Stuffed Robot

Stuffed Robot

14.  In 8 days I’ll be walking the streets of Boulder, Colorado.  Not in a street walker kind of way, just the normal street walking kind of way.  Erm. 

15.  It will be the first time since all my gestating began 9 years ago that The Hubs and I shall be off on our own. 

16.  I plan on bringing Edward doll with me, because he’s always in my handbag.  I wonder what the airport X-ray people will think when they see him…

17.  “Is that an Edward doll?  Security!”

18.  My BFF from high school is coming down in 51 days to see New Moonwith me.  We’re thinking of making T-shirts that say TEAM JACOB JUST FOR NEW MOON

19.  Or I might go ahead and make a T-shirt that says TEAM EWOK

20. Or I might just wear regular clothes.  Whatever.

Happy Friday Tuesday.

Keyboard Confessions

1.  Is it just me or has this week just zoomed right on by?

2.  I am feeling good about myself because I got rid of lots and lots of files on my desk.  All of them with problems. 

3.  It’s sort of like a legal ball of yarn you have to untangle.  It takes patience.  And Diet Coke.

4.  My joy was short lived however, because then a whole nother stack of files just got set on my desk today.  Alas.

5.  Must go get a Diet Coke.

6.  You wanna know my big plans for the weekend?  I shall be attempting adding stripes to my knitted socks. 

7.  I know, you are so wishing you could live my life.  I’m like glamour, class AND craftiness all rolled up into a person.

8.  I am not a big fan of “The Climb” aka The Slime.  However, I do kind of like that song “See You Again“. 

9.  I know, I know.  *rolling my eyes*

10.  At night I’ve been wearing my knitted socks.  They keep my pigs nice and cozy.  Don’t they make me look thin and sexy?

socks

11.  However, since they were the first pair I made, I didn’t know what the slap I was doing.  Therefore, they are too big.  The toes do that floppy thing like  boys they walk around and don’t pull up their socks.  It drives me crazy.

12.  We’re going to see Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs tonight.  LOVE the book. 

13.  You know what other kids book I love?  Junie B. Jones.  Seriously, so funny.  I’ve been reading them to my girls and I can’t hardly read out loud for the laughing.  Which makes them laugh.  It’s awesome. 

14.  It occurs to me today that I have been wearing the same kind of perfume for 8 years.  This makes me feel predictable.

15.  I’ll bet you’re just DYING to know what perfume it is.  I’ll tell you what it’s not- it’s not Febreeze.

16.  I’ve been burning my pumpkin scented candle at home.  That thing I said before about pumpkin scented things?  It’s so not true.  Just sayin. 

17.  Also, I’m not going to say what I said before.  You’ll just have to wonder.

18.  Sorry Lance, I know you’re facepalming. 

19.  Ooh!  I forgot about this thingI’ll be making this weekend for Emma’s Cowgirl Birthday Partay.  If you beg, I shall post a pic.  Because I’m nice that way.  And a bit narcissistic. 

20.  I’ve decided this is my favorite song ever. 

Happy Friday, my friends.