Posts Tagged ‘boogers’

Keyboard Confessions

1.  You know, I was beginning to think no one read these confessions until I skipped last week.  Then I had all kinds of questions- “Where are the Confessions??”  “Kearsie, did you disappear?”  “Please will you continue doing your Confessions??”

2.  …Ok, that might be a bit of a stretch.  It was only one person who noticed.  And she didn’t ask questions.  It was more like “Dude, there’s some Confessions missing from your blog.”

3.  So I like to read into things, ok?

4.  I don’t own a robe.  This is not really interesting at all, but this is what I was thinking of when I fell asleep last night.

5.  However, even if I owned a robe, I don’t think I’d ever have time to wear it. 

6.  My life is so not like the movies.  I don’t wake up at 4:30 a.m., shower, walk around in a robe for an hour with perfectly styled hair, slowly sipping on a cup of coffee, having witty banter with my kids at the breakfast table.

7.  Nay.  My mornings usually are more like repeating one phrase over and over:  hurry up!!!  we’re gonna be late!!!  hurry up!!!  we’re gonna be late!!! and then leaving the house with wet hair. 

8.  So, I think I’m ok with no robe.

9.  I’d much rather have a Snuggie.  To match Edward.

10.  It turns out, most of the folks around me think I’ve taken things a bit too far with my Edward doll.  Dude, what is so wrong with sewing a tshirt for Edward doll?  I don’t make fun of anyone else’s hobby, unless you collect Dale Earnhart, Jr. plates or something.  Then, hey, you’re just asking for it.

11.  …if one of you precious readers collects Dale Earnhart, Jr. collectable plates, I promise I will not make fun of you.  And I might even let you hold Edward doll.

12.  Sometimes, my office chair sinks down.  I’m pretty sure this is nature’s way of saying I’ve put on some weight.

13.  I gave my girls this tiny Christmas tree that stands about 1 foot tall.  They put it in their Barbie Mansion.  It needed lights, so I went to Walmart and found a tiny strand that is battery operated. They are super cute.  But guess what?  I’m pretty sure the light makers soaked the strand in cat pee.  The words “it stinks” is clearly understated.

14.  I found a tiny Santa coat.  That’s all I’m gonna say.

15.  My Hubs says after Christmas I am not allowed to sew or knit for a few months.  I suppose hearing me constantly complain of the pain in my wrist is a bit annoying.

16.  Guess what?  When your wrist is in constant pain having to sign 900 gagillion office Christmas cards is SO.MUCH.FUN.

17.  By Card # 3 I was like “screw it” and just basically scribbled.

18.  That’s ok, they can’t pronounce my name anyways.

19.  If anyone is missing some boogers, it’s because they are all in my nose.

20.  I have a date on Saturday.  So if you see the boogery nose lady all wrapped up in a hat and gloves, that would be me. 

Happy Friday!

Keyboard Confessions

1.  I gave up on the face powder.

2.  It was the copious amounts of man sweat pouring off my face.

3.  Except, I’m not a man.  I’m a woman, who sweats on my face like a man.

4.  Erm.

5.  Several things occurred to me this week- 1) I know way way way too much about Twilight, Twilight books, Twilight movies, and Twilight Trivia, 2) I acted just like a little kid when I won those Twilight dolls (see past post) and 3) I am a sad sad creature because of this.

6.  My girls’ babysitter is baking a cake today for my daughter Emma’s favorite stuffed animal.

7.  She told me “Tomorrow is Tigress’ birthday, so we’re baking a birthday cake for her.”

8.  She said it with a straight face.  I, however, laughed. 

9.  Then I felt bad for laughing.

10.  Then I got excited because there would be cake in my house.

11.  Then I kind of cussed in my head because there would be cake in my house.

12.  Sigh.  I love cake.

13.  I do not, however, love to go outside and walk in the heat.

14.  Or exercise, if I’m being honest.

15.  I decided to start making a bagillion face/body scrubbies for a craft fair in October.  So far I’ve made 15 scrubbies.

16.  I’ll need about 190 more to make up for the entrance fee for the craft fair.

17.  I may burn all yarn and needles this summer.

18.  I went through a whole evening with our church’s small group without saying the words CRACK, BOOGERS or PORN.

19.  Until we talked about splitting up the group and adding more people.  Then I said “Dang.  Now I’ll have to break all the new people in by saying CRACK and PORN.  It’s kind of tiresome.”

20.  Then I watched Lance facepalm.