Confessions of my dirty keyboard

1.  I got to looking at my keyboard.  It’s really disgusting.  There’s about 5,000 crumbs all stuck in there.  It might feed a small country.  A very small country, filled with small folks, who eat small meals like crumbs.

2.  You know what else has about 5,000 crumbs?  My couch.  I know this because yesterday I had to tear apart my living room because I lost my diamond earring.  It wasn’t like a Liz Taylor Giant Egg Shaped $90,000 earring, but it was special to me nonetheless.  The Hubs gave the pair to me for our first Christmas.  Anyways, I had to dig all around and wade through the crumbs for my earring.  Kind of gross and awesome all at the same time.  Like childbirth.

3.  But I’m not going to say anything about all the hair I found or else you will gag. 

4.  Too late?

5.  This year for Halloween we decided to go whole hog and let our girls dress up.  Did you know you can provide electricity for that small country in #1 with what you pay for costumes?  Yeah, me neither.  If someone finds my arm and leg, please call me ASAP. 

6.  However, you will not find a prettier princess or awesomer SuperGirl.  No you won’t.  Quit arguing.

7.  8 weeks until Christmas. *hyperventilate*  I have two presents.  Two.  *stroking out from hyperventilating*

8.  Someone sent me free yarn in exchange for me knitting a cool and funky scarf.  I’m pretty sure this means I’m a yarn whore.

9.  I’m also pretty sure I have tendonitis/carpal tunnel/arthritis/wrist killing me/hand falling off in pain.  I wonder what my co-pay will be for all that?  I might could also provide housing for that small country.

10.  I’ve decided to not cut my hair for a year.  This means that my chronic bad hair is no longer just a cute saying. 

11.  I am addicted to this one song.  You know, from last week?  Too lazy to scroll on down?  Oh for Pete’s sake, I’ll just put the link again.

12.  However, since then, my addiction has been fed from another source.  Prepare to love this song even more.

13. It makes Insanity Kim happy that I have an interest in ASL.  It makes me happy when he does the homesick sign *chin pimple popping motion*.  Pure awesomeness.

14.  It’s a sickness.  I must watch it again.  I wish I could find Captain Valor and give him a high five.  Yeah *fist up and down*.

15.  You hear that sound?  That’s the sound me losing all credibility with my readers because of a stupid Miley Cyrus song. 

16.  Now that’s the sound of me of eating an Almond Joy.  I found one the other day with no almond.  It’s just like those times people eat a McNugget and find a chicken foot.  I ate it anyways even though it was false advertising as it was really a Mounds bar.

17.  I wish I had an awesome name like Captain Valor.  Any suggestions? 

18.  Hubs and I had a fun conversation last night.  You know how in some homes when you walk in the door the homeowners make you take off your shoes?  Even though your feet are all gross and sweaty and smelly and warty and crusty heels and no toenail polish and junk and you feel all uncomfortable?  Well what if you entered the home of a nudist, would they make you take your clothes off?  It’s kind of the same thing.  At least, that was our logic last night at 11:30 p.m.

19.  I hope Hubs has stopped reading my blogs.

20.  Happy Friday.

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17 responses to this post.

  1. I ♥ Miley Cyrus. I was actually talking to my boss about it today since he took his 8 year old to the concert last night. I was jealous. I told him so.

    Oh, and I ♥ you, too, KearsieMurphy.

    Reply

  2. You need one of those canned air thingies to blow out all of the nastiness in your keyboard. I had to do it to mine because it was some kind of gross.

    yarn whore… haha

    Puh lease tell me you really didn’t find a sign language version of Party in the USA…. you are right, credibility gone 🙂

    Reply

  3. Oh how I missed reading your blog! Don’t tell anyone but *whispers* whenever Party in the USA comes on I roll up my windows and start blaring the song and singing all loud….

    As for your #18 that just shows you how you don’t live in the North. Seriously, every morning when you get dressed for work you stop and think “Am I going to visit anyone’s house before I go home today!?” and then you decide on if your wear your good socks or the bad socks…you know with the little holes in the toes or on the bottom? The worst part about visiting people’s houses up here is when they try to give you slippers to wear that only God knows how many stanky feet have been in there. Ewwww

    Okay I hate feet. Good bye!

    Reply

  4. As far as giving Capt’ V a high-five, may I suggest a fist-bump instead? Not only is that H1N1 going around, I fear he has too much pimple puss on his fingers…

    How about “Sweet Nutless Joy” as a moniker?

    You can delete this comment too if you want…

    *jerkiness abounds*

    Reply

  5. Posted by Aunt Vam on October 30, 2009 at 3:56 pm

    I bought computer brushes for my company as our new giveaway items for this year’s Mining Convention. The brushes have our logo on them. Sounds like I should send a complimentary brush to you! After all, you are a descendant, therefore future owner of this company!!

    Reply

  6. Posted by Amie on October 30, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    At 12:00 last night I was laying in bed and had a Miley Cyrus song playing in my head. I believe I must blame you for this…

    Reply

  7. I read somewhere that the keyboard is the dirtiest place in the home. I don’t like to think about that.

    And I think it’s pretty awesome you’re getting into ASL. I took it as my foreign language in school(if it counts as foreign) and did a whole lot of community service for the Texas School for the Deaf back then and their choir was always so incredible to watch. 🙂

    Could you imagine asking the plumber to kindly remove his clothes before he got to work? *twitch*

    Reply

  8. Posted by your cousin on October 30, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    I try to clean my keyboard at least once a week after I read a study that compared bacteria levels on keyboards to those on toilets….. and found that toilets are cleaner.

    Reply

  9. Eww..keyboards are nasty. *Nodding my head like yeah, with my rock fist*

    Reply

  10. You have christmas presents already? Wow. I’m impressed.

    Reply

  11. Posted by robin on October 31, 2009 at 3:02 am

    I have most of my stocking stuffers bought, but I have it easy this year because we are not doing any big presents. The trip to Mexico with my uncle is everybody’s gift. The girls are still struggling with this concept, but oh well! I’m sure they will still get things from the grandmas and such.

    I am sooo going to buy one of those air blower thingies now. My keyboard has hair all in it. *gag*

    Reply

  12. Posted by Karen on October 31, 2009 at 6:54 pm

    Thanks for introducing me to my latest YouTube crush – he is soooo geeky cute!

    Reply

  13. You keep cracking me up.
    I need to go wash my keyboard now.
    And my couch.
    Oh, and all my floors.
    Twice.

    Reply

  14. My keyboard (aka laptop) is exceedingly disgusting. It doesnt help that I have a mac, so its white and shows every speck and smudge. My couch is also nasty.

    I lurve knitting. I wish people would pay me in yarn. Thatd be amazing.

    That Miley Cyrus song gets stuck in my head too. Ill have to watch that video when Im not watching other stuff. Also, my bff can sign “Hot and Cold” by Katy Perry. Its hilarious.

    Reply

  15. Wow, my daughter loves that new Miley song! They only play it 1,000 times a day here in Cleveland, so she gets to hear it as often as she likes…

    Reply

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