Adventures with Edward: Edward writes Bella Doll a poem

Setting: Office of the human


Edward, climbs out of the human’s giant purse and says he’s been thinking.  I ask him what about.  “Bella Doll,” he says, with a faraway look.  “I’ve decided to woo her.  Tis time I declared my intentions.”

I set Edward up at my desk and let him brainstorm.  After a few minutes I check on his progress. 

Picture 002


“Hmm,” I say.  “It’s ok, but I think you can do better, Edward.  Try again.  This time, think about what you like about Bella Doll.”

Picture 003


“Ha.Ha.”  I say, rolling my eyes.”  Edward laughs uproariously.  Boys.

I place Edward off to the side of the computer to think about maybe writing a poem.  Edward contemplates.

Picture 006

Poor Edward.  He can’t scratch his head.  Those elbows just won’t bend enough.

Edward types away at the computer.  He tsks.  Crosses things out.  Thinks more.  Types again.  This is what he comes up with:



Edward looks to me for approval.  “Well?” he asks.

“Umm…Gee, Edward, I’m just so blinded by the love oozing from your words…give me a second to think…”

Edward taps his foot impatiently.  It’s the only thing on his body that moves with ease.  I pick out the drum line for “Whip It” in his foot taps.

“Edward, I think we should just try to find you some sunglasses.”

Edward sighs deeply and crawls back in my bag.  Poor Edward.


11 responses to this post.

  1. Awww, will poor Edward Doll’s true feelings ever be known?!


  2. He deserves better, that Bella girl is too plastic for him.


  3. HAHHAHAHA! Oh man, I’m gonna send him a mail-order Bratz Doll…he’ll love her accessories…


  4. Um. ‘Cuse me. I need PE scarves. Pronto.

    Several of them.



  5. man. that was awesome. way fancy. good thing his calculator writing didn’t involve 3177345. aka. shellie. word.

    also. edward doesn’t need sunglasses. what he needs is a speedo and a six pack. either definition of six pack is acceptable.


  6. Posted by Sara on September 16, 2009 at 11:28 pm

    This made me laugh so hard… It was much needed comic relief, thank you. Also, I LOVE that his toothpick scarf is now offically part of his wardrobe.


  7. hahaha tooo funny! i think edward is a bit too consumed with himself!


  8. Cracked up. I only know how to write “hello” and “shell oil” on the calculator.


  9. Oh I feel for poor Edward. I mean the fact that he can’t even scratch his head when he thinks makes me want to cry! Life as a miniature doll- opps…will he take offense to that?


  10. Okay…how long did it take you to figure out that the upside down numbers made the word BOOBIES???? LMAOAROF!!! You are one funny, twisted sister.
    LOVED this post….you rock.


  11. We took my daughter to see “Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs” and loved it.


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