Sit on couch.*
Pick up sock** I started knitting 3 months ago and then put up after 2 days.
Peer intently at pattern to determine where I left off.
Look intently at sock.
Realize I used wrong needle size to begin with.
Cuss in my head.
Frog***. Frog some more. Cuss more in my head.
Wrestle with double pointed needles. Cuss more in my head.
Stab myself in eyeball with needle. Cuss out loud. Quietly.
Move on to leg of sock.
Congratulate myself on my smartness.
Admire cuff and leg of sock.
Get to heel.****
Peer intently at pattern.
Wonder if writer of pattern was on crack when writing pattern.
Look at clock.
Realize I am not such a fancy knitter after all and go to bed.
* 60 year old couch falling apart beneath our butts.
** 1st sock I’ve attempted knitting.
*** Frog: To unravel many rows of knitting. Many many rows. Like, all of them.
*** Where your heel goes in the sock. Der.