Archive for August, 2009

Keyboard Confessions

1.  It has begun.  What is “it”, you ask?

2.  “It” is the addiction to 24.  We are surrounded by Blockbuster video boxes.  They feed the addiction.

3.  I’m pretty sure they should have just named 24: “All The Worst Things We Could Think Of Happening To This Guy Called Jack.”

4.  Obviously, I will never get a job in the TV Show Naming Business.

5.  I won a giveaway.  It’s soap from The Dirty Housewife.  I *adore* handmade soap.

6.  I’m kind of over the whole addicted to Twitter thing.

7.  It’s because somehow I’ve morphed into this creepy stalker person who just roams around Twitter reading Tweets from Peeps.  It’s weird.  It makes me want to wash my hands.

8.  I will be spending the weekend doing The Never Ending Chore aka Laundry and finishing a baby quilt for this Hot Mama.

9.  Right now, on my back-from-the-dead-and-washing-machine iPod Shuffle, some old school New Edition just came on.  This makes me insanely happy. 

10.  My buddy and pal, Insanity Kim, suggested I submit my newly knitted scarf for Edward into the Guinness Book of World Records.

11.  I laughed and just shook my head at the absurdity of it all. 

12.  Guinness will get back with me in two days to process my claim for the smallest scarf ever knitted with toothpicks.

13.  I am like 60% embarrassed/ 40% hopeful that Edward’s scarf is submitted.

14.  This will look really dumb on my resume’.

15.  Also, I kind of wonder what the folks at Guinness will think when they read my submission.  I bet there are some facepalms.

16.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

17.    …….

18.  Stopping my KC’s prematurely.  Because I must go sit under my desk in the fetal position.

Happy Friday.

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Adventures with Edward: Edward takes up a hobby

Setting: living room of the human

 

One night, Edward wanders over to a stash of yarn.  Standing amidst all the yarn, Edward decides he needs a hobby.

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Looking around, Edward grabs the first needles he can find and some yarn.  He chooses a very manly color.

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Poor Edward.  Those needles are much too big for him.  Unless he wants to do the javelin. 

Hunting around, Edward finds something more his size. 

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Ever so carefully, Edward begins his project.  He weilds his toothpick knitting needles like a champ, whipping that embroidery floss into submission. 

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Quicker than you can say “Vampire Dolls Make Knitting Cool”, Edward finishes his creation.  He models his scarf and wonders if Bella Doll will look at him with new plastic eyes.

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Either way, he feels stylin.

Keyboard Confessions

1.  Last night, I sat down with Emma and taught her how to knit.

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2. My baby is knitting now.  *sniff sniff*

3.  Sorry.  Ahem.  Where was I?

4.  Oh yes, I taught my baby how to knit. *SOB*

5.  Not really crying folks.  That’s just trick-typing. 

6.  But it is weird.  Sometimes I look at my almost eight year old and see her as this:

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7.  *SOB*

8.  Ahem, ok. I’m ok now. 

9.  I’m thinking of selling some books on Amazon.  Anyone do this? 

10.  Also thinking of starting Slim Fast.  Anyone do this?

11.  Hubs and I are about to start working on a science fiction book.  I’ve discovered Hubs is WAY MORE SMART than me. 

12.  I discovered this because he was telling me all these details of the book and my eyes kind of glazed over in a “not smart enough to comprehend all these details” way.

13.  I’m thinking of switching to Team Jacob.  I blame this.

14.  I would feel bad for ditching Edward but really, this is all fiction.  So I could say I’m Team Ewok and it really wouldn’t matter.

15.  I’m pretty sure that everyone thinks I’ve lost my mind for doing my Adventures with Edward.

16.  There’s lots of head shaking from coworkers.  I’m trying to keep my chin up and stay away from the fresh Reese’s.

17.  My friend rewrote the lyrics to The Climb.  That song is now 100% completely ruined. 

18.  I’m not too broken up about it, really.  But I wonder if poor Miley Cyrus knows that some folks in my corner of the world hear her song and immediately think of boogers.

19.  I promised a shout out to Megan for her birthday, which was yesterday.  Shooouut oouuuut!

20.  One day, I’ll be famousy and that shout out will be worth something.  Like, $5.00.

 

Happy Friday

Adventures with Edward: Edward goes to work with his human

Setting: office desk of the human who carries Edward around in her purse

Edward, bored of the home of his human (aka me), decides to find adventure by tagging along at work.

His first job, to hand me paperclips.

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Then, Edward hands me my highlighter.  He is feeling very good about himself.

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Then like the easily distracted vampire doll that he is, Edward goes a little crazy.  He spins himself in my office supply carousel thingy.

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Quicker than I can say “Vampire Gone Wild”, Edward wraps himself in tape.

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I untangle Edward from the sticky tape. Edward promises to be good. 

I send Edward to the copy room to make some copies for me.  However, this proves to be a mistake.

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I find Edward making mischief.  Edward tells me this is the closest he could come of photocopying his hiney.  Whatever, I say. He laughs at his handiwork.

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I carry Edward Doll back to my desk and tell him he needs to have S.Q.U.I.R.T.  Edward looks at me questioningly.  It’s ‘Silent Quiet Uninterrupted Individual Reading Time’, I explain.  I load up Midnight Sun on my iPhone and set Edward down to read.

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This lasts five minutes.  Then he finds my SIGN HERE tabs.

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Ye Olde Book Review

(Confession:  I have nary a clue as to the correct usage of the words “Ye Olde”.)

I am a book harlot.  I eat books.  I must have a book or there might be some hyperventilating going on.  If there is nothing new to read I end up reading Twilight for the 18th time.  So, new books floating through our home is a common occurrence. 

A few months ago, I began to read a series called Percy Jackson and the Olympians.  They are awesome.  Why?  Let me break it down.

1.  For YA lit, these are very very enjoyable.  I am an adult, yes I am, and I loved them.  I laughed.  I cried.  I wished I was a demigod.

2.  They are exciting.  Rick Riordan, the author, did an excellent job of making each book of the series of five better than the last, culminating in an amazing ending.

3.  These are books based on Greek Mythology, which I must admit I was pretty clueless about.  The only things I really knew about Greek Mythology came from the movies Clash of the Titans and Hercules.  So I learned a lot.  I dare say you will too.

4.  Kids with issues like ADHD and dyslexia will find characters dealing with these too.

5.  And then there’s the stuff that make YA lit so fun: humor, friendship, love, searching for identity and purpose.  All that good stuff.

 

So, if you’re hankering for something good to read, check out Percy Jackson and the Olympians.  You won’t be disappointed.

Keyboard Confessions

1.  I just ate a Ziploc baggy full of Lucky Charms.

2.  A few weeks ago, I accidentally washed my iPod Shuffle in the washing machine.

3.  On a whim, I decided to plug it up to see if it would still work.

4.  It does.  Kearsie’s Dope Mix of Beats lives on.  It’s a music miracle.

5.  I got a fever.  And the only cure is more sock knitting.

6.  I’m hoping The Hubs surprises me tonight with a movie date to see G.I. Joe.

7.  If not, then I really hope to finish a sock.

8.  Please don’t let the excitement of my life make yours feel pale in comparison.

9.  Is anyone else dying for autumn?

10.  I’d even put up with football season if it meant fall was here.

11.  Mostly this is so I can wear my knitted socks.

12.  And so I can cook with pumpkin and not feel weird.

13.  Did you know the smell of pumpkin is an aphrodisiac for men?

14.  Well. Now you know.

15.  Yesterday, I had lunch with a for-real-actual artist.

16.  I hope to feature her and her amazing art here in the future.

17.  I decided I don’t want the Leg Magic Machine anymore.

18.  This means I gave up exercising everyday.  Don’t judge.

19.  Instead of the Leg Magic, I really want this instead.

20.  Come on, it’s called “Heeltastic”.  You can’t go wrong with a name like that.

Happy Friday.

Adventures with Edward: Edward watches his favorite show

Setting:  the computer, where the latest episode of “Men Dolls” is airing

 

Edward, standing in front of the computer, stares avidly at his favorite show,  Men Dolls

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Edward thinks it’s a crying shame that TNT hasn’t picked up this show yet.  For now, he will just have to make do with weekly episodes on the innernets.

Edward thinks that Edward Cullen is one handsome doll.  Plautonically. 

Edward reads the dialogue and laughs uproariously.

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Edward wonders what will happen on next week’s episode. 

He also thinks that Michael Vartan Doll has a huge forehead.