Setting: steamy summer night in desolate area.
Edward, standing by the side of the road, decides to hitch a ride. He wants to sparkle, to attact someone, but realizes he will have to settle for plastic shiny.
He’s a little frustrated that his thumb won’t stick up. He thinks he looks like he’s trying to hail a cab instead. However, maybe his rugged good looks and his sticky up hair will entice a car to stop.
Lo and behold, a car pulls up.
It’s a…butterfly lady with two little kids in the back seat. She stops, asks if he needs a ride and he approaches the car.
She looks safe. However, she doesn’t have a ring on her left hand, so he’s wondering if she’s looking for a baby daddy for her two kids.
But he’s looking for some adventure so he hops in. There’s just one problem-
Edward can’t sit. He doesn’t bend. Just his elbows bend, making him look double jointed. He tries different methods. Standing up in the seat isn’t very safe, even for a vampire.
Edward tries laying down. But he doesn’t feel very manly doing this. Also, he’s having trouble with the seat belt and then remembers he’s a vampire and doesn’t need to fool with trivial human things like seat belts.
He decided to heck with safety. He stands up in the back, ready for adventure. Besides, as he doesn’t bend that’s his only option. Just as Butterfly Lady is about to take off, some of her friends approach the car.
Edward realizes that this scene is a little out of his league. So, ever the gentleman, he gives up his seat to the platinum blonde who looks the least deranged.
Edward stands by the side of the road, watching the car with all the ladies driving away. He hopes the lady with the wedding dress doesn’t fall of the back of the car and continues his search for adventure.