1. Cavemen grunts.
It was complicated and no one understood anything. Everyone sounded angry.
2. Village Messengers
It took ages. And ages. Plus I’ll bet messengers lost messages sometimes and had to make them up.
Also took ages. And there were rickets. And perhaps letters sank into the ocean.
4. Horse Messengers
There was a whole lotta poop to deal with. And it took ages. Letters probably stank like the poo, too.
Also known as Snail Mail. Although, it was probably cutting edge back there.
This took mad skills with Morse Code. And lots of use of the word STOP. If you are in trouble and do “Help me!” in Morse Code, I will have no idea what you are doing and just think some woodpecker is loose somewhere, just so you know.
Telephones brought a new malady known as “Cauliflower Ear”. And costly telephone bills.
Suddenly, the idea of connecting with several folks at once became popular. This is known today as “Spam”. Viagra is really keen on this idea. And they’re real braggy.
9. Instant Messenging
Emoticons, Audibles, cute typing things like LOL, BRB, TTYL…a whole new world of abbreviations.
This was the place. Free layouts, folks could see your pictures, hootchie mamas and daddies did their hootchie thing. We all got good on those self portraits…it was cool for awhile.
Allegedly much cooler than Myspace, until they changed the layout. None of us liked the change. However, none of us can remember what it looked like before the change, so. Facebook rules, except for chat.
Twitter. It’s the new drug. It’s basically waiting around for someone to write something. It’s a land of one-liners. It’s actually pretty boring. And horrifically addictive. Excuse me, I must go see if anyone has updated anything in the last 20 minutes.
** Dude, I have no idea if these are in order. Don’t harsh on my make believe history time line.
Also, I’m featured on Oh I Love That! today as their guest blogger!