1. It’s been a good hair week. In fact, It’s been a good hair weeks. This is a first. Also, that is really bad grammar.
2. I’m thinking the hair is in awe of the sexay eyebrows and are in deep smit, thus it is tameable.
3. The acne is clearing up too. It only took drinking 90 gazillion gallons of water.
4. But I peed quite a bit. Getting rid of pimples has been a time consuming process.
5. Alas, one day I shall write something that has nothing to do with pimples, boogers or … oh, who’m I kidding?
6. In one week, I shall be breathing the steamy fumes of Florida hangin with my homies. Well, technically, I’m only homies with a few of them.
7. The rest of the folks I don’t know so there will be that painful “getting to know each other” stuff, where I try not to say the words CRACK, PORN or BOOGERS too often. I tend to say bizarre things like that around strangers. True story. It’s a miracle I have friends and I’m married.
8. While I have been maintaining my hair and eyebrows and using face powder, I have completely forgotten about my toenails and heels. I shall soon have to hone and buff and polish, else I shall resemble Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber.
9. I’m pretty sure that Spongebob is Kid’s Crack. My kids are addicted. Also, I challenge you to turn on Spongebob and then leave the room and listen to the dialogue and not want to poke out your eardrums. Go ahead, try it.
10. Dang, I have to go. I drank quite a bit of water this morning. You know what that means.