1. This last time I went to get my hair cut, I got a wild hair (hahaha pun) and busted out with “Go ahead and give me some bangs!” What I was really trying to say was “Please make it so my hair is in my face all my waking hours!”
2. I should have read the hair dresser’s expression when she said “Really?” Because I think she was really saying “Dude, you’re going to regret it in about 3 days.”
3. I am wondering if anyone else out there is plagued with boogers like I am.
4. Also, is that a dirty thing? To say I have lots of boogers? Is that kind of like telling everyone I have halitosis?
5. It is possible to burn yourself out on One Hit Wonders. I know this because I’ve been listening to my newly burned CD for the last week filled with One Hit Wonders.
7. I’m pretty sure this song isn’t sung in English. I can’t understand a durn word.
8. Every day, I come into my office and put on a little sweater. I feel very much like Mr. Rogers.
9. Every day, a crazy black man comes into the office and steals magazines, pens and candy.
10. None of us know what to do so we just let him to what he’s going to do.
11. Also, he’s a shouter. He’s convinced he played football with my boss.
12. I really hope I’m not a crazy person when I get old.
13. I also worry about what I would be shouting.
14. But mostly I’m just concerned I keep my underwear on and dry.
15. Erm, this list has taken a strange turn.
16. I decided to grow my eyebrows out.
17. This pretty much makes me the most hideous creature alive to look at.
18. After they are all grown out and supa manly looking, I’m going to get them waxed.
19. It’s sad, isn’t it, that this is the only form of adventure my life has in store for me.
(Editor’s note: Yes, I realize this list looks incomplete. But how do I follow up with eyebrow waxing as the only adventure waiting for me in the near future, I ask you?)