1. I am a Notary Public. That makes me feel Important.
2. I am 33 years old and I am still too embarrassed to walk into the store and buy only feminine products.
3. The last time I had to do this, I also bought two boxes of Fruity Pebbles and some Little Debbies.
4. Then I avoided the line with the male cashier, even though his line was way shorter.
5. I realize this is very ridiculous.
6. I also realize that I have sent Lance to perform this duty numerous times and he is way braver than me.
7. I discovered quite by accident that Scrabble accepts curse words.
8. I’m too chicken to actually use said curse words.
9. I have never been drunk.
10. In fact, I just might be the only person in the world who does not like the taste of alcohol.
11. I figure, all the problems I have with addictive substances like chocolate and Diet Coke, this is just fine with me.
12. There are about 7 mixed CDs I rotate listening to.
13. I have no creativity labeling said CDs. They all have a variation of “KEARSIE’S DOPE MIX OF BEATS”.
14. Darby, our fish, was hiding the other day and I about had a panic attack thinking he was dead.
15. My next thought, however, was “I suspect fish die of boredom.”
16. When it gets all stormy outside for a few days, my arthritis kicks in and I walk around like an 80 year old woman.
17. It’s been a very long time since I cut my nostril hair.
18. Every couple of years, my wandering foot gets to itching.
19. Right now, it’s a raging rash. I need to get out of here.
20. I have watched almost every episode of LOST. However, I suck trying to explain what happened on shows Lance missed. Apparently I have no retention. Or I am still really confused.
21. Lance told me he would buy me an iPhone if I promised I would use the phone’s calendar and notes applications for lists instead of carting around 19 different lists on backs of old envelopes stuffed in my purse.
22. I’m not sure I can do it.
23. Lists keep me sane. Even if I lose the list I just made, I feel better that I have listed things.
24. Ahem, that might explain this post.
25. I realize with Easter coming this weekend, I should say something profound and spiritual. As it is Friday and the pudding is present, this is all I have: