Keyboard Confessions

1.  I am a Notary Public.  That makes me feel Important. 

2.  I am 33 years old and I am still too embarrassed to walk into the store and buy only feminine products.

3.  The last time I had to do this, I also bought two boxes of Fruity Pebbles and some Little Debbies.

4.  Then I avoided the line with the male cashier, even though his line was way shorter. 

5.  I realize this is very ridiculous.

6.  I also realize that I have sent Lance to perform this duty numerous times and he is way braver than me.

7.  I discovered quite by accident that Scrabble accepts curse words.

8.  I’m too chicken to actually use said curse words. 

9.  I have never been drunk. 

10.  In fact, I just might be the only person in the world who does not like the taste of alcohol.

11.  I figure, all the problems I have with addictive substances like chocolate and Diet Coke, this is just fine with me.

12.  There are about 7 mixed CDs I rotate listening to. 

13.  I have no creativity labeling said CDs.  They all have a variation of “KEARSIE’S DOPE MIX OF BEATS”.

14.  Darby, our fish, was hiding the other day and I about had a panic attack thinking he was dead.

15.  My next thought, however, was “I suspect fish die of boredom.”

16.  When it gets all stormy outside for a few days, my arthritis kicks in and I walk around like an 80 year old woman.

17.  It’s been a very long time since I cut my nostril hair.

18.  Every couple of years, my wandering foot gets to itching.

19.  Right  now, it’s a raging rash.  I need to get out of here.

20.  I have watched almost every episode of LOST.  However, I suck trying to explain what happened on shows Lance missed.  Apparently I have no retention.  Or I am still really confused.

21.  Lance told me he would buy me an iPhone if I promised I would use the phone’s calendar and notes applications for lists instead of carting around 19 different lists on backs of old envelopes stuffed in my purse. 

22.  I’m not sure I can do it.

23.  Lists keep me sane.  Even if I lose the list I just made, I feel better that I have listed things.

24.  Ahem, that might explain this post.

25.  I realize with Easter coming this weekend, I should say something profound and spiritual.  As it is Friday and the pudding is present, this is all I have:

bunnies

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18 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Kamryn on April 10, 2009 at 5:01 pm

    There’s nothing better than chocolate pudding on a Friday!

    Reply

  2. I once used a big curse word in Scrabble (ends in “er”) ’cause I got 86 points for it; does that make me a bad person? *hiding in corner*

    Reply

  3. Posted by undressingmind on April 10, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Matthew constantly tells me to use my iPhone for stuff I prefer to just use old methods for!

    Reply

  4. Oddly enough, I just glanced at my iPhone’s note application and my last note was 192 days old reminding me of what office I had to go to for my doctor appointment.

    I perfer the old way of just jotting down notes and lists too!

    Reply

  5. You know me…you had me at list and seeing a No. 1 followed by a No. 2 and 3….!!
    funny post!

    The Retirement Chronicles

    Reply

  6. 2 & 9 – I am with you!
    16 – My left hip hurts like crazy when the weather is damp. All of my babies have lain with their big heads on my hip bone!
    21 – I also make lists on th back of envelopes that once contained credit card applications. I may need an iPhone also!

    Love the bunnies!!

    Reply

  7. You are adorable. Also, um, I didn’t know I was supposed to cut my nostril hair. Whoops. Tell me this: why is nostril hair of finite length?

    Reply

    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on April 10, 2009 at 9:54 pm

      My pudding brain cannot compute your question adequately. However, if I am reading this right, my nostril hair is long enough to see, ergo it must go.

      Reply

  8. 1. Are you mormon? Otherwise, never been drunk? Really?

    2. Your husband is willing to buy Tampons? Really?

    3. I’m 33 too. Yay. I like to know the ages related to the blogs I read every day.

    Reply

  9. Posted by Jaime on April 11, 2009 at 3:52 am

    i’ve never been drunk either…and i HATE the taste of alcohol. I’ve tasted many alcohlic drinks and they all taste like crap, not that i know what crap tastes like, but it has to be close.

    Reply

  10. Drunk used to be my natural state. Years ago. I too can not stomach the taste(anymore), thank goodness.

    I can can’t on my fingers the number of times I’ve bought tampons in the last 8 years. My poor husband is far too good to me. I always say, it’s not like they’re gonna think they’re for you!

    Reply

  11. Err, I can count, rather. Gracious, I sound like I’m drunk now!

    Reply

  12. You are awesome.

    Reply

  13. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on April 13, 2009 at 10:02 pm

    Kam:
    Yes, chocolate pudding on a Friday is wonderful. Also, it’s good on Tuesdays and Saturdays. Actually, it’s good anytime. Dang, I want some chocolate pudding now.

    Kim:
    I am shocked and appalled and also kind of full of admiration for your brave Scrabble playing. I think it’s funny though that your highest scoring word is a naughty one. Today I did one that was also on the naughty side. It started with a C. I am ashamed now.

    Megan:
    Lance and Matthew have been taught by the machines. We must bring back the old fashioned ways.

    Jenny:
    I am going to tell my husband this immediately. You are proving my point. Thank you. I must jot this down on my list of things to tell him.

    Joan:
    You are Master of Lists. I have learned all my List Making Ways from You. I award you the Mighty Funny List Maker.

    Laura:
    I’m so relieved that you aren’t scared away by my over shares. Welcome to my blog!

    Lara:
    It’s Monday, and I still don’t have the brain power to answer your question. But I’m glad you laughed when I played the naughty Scrabble word.

    Lindsay:
    Not Morman, just Really Square. Never been drunk. I drank a wine cooler once. And a Screwdriver at a friend’s house. That’s the extent of my Bad Girl Ways. I told you, I’m Really Square. My husband buys Feminine Stuff, but he’s not excited about it.

    Jaime:
    I tried wine this summer. I agree. It was crap in a bottle.

    Samantha:
    I must say I gasped just a tad at your comment. Also, I’m might interested in knowing more about you!

    Jenny:
    No, YOU’RE awesome.

    Reply

  14. 1. you have way more comments than i do.
    2. i am jealous.
    3. imma go potty now.
    4. i’ll miss you.

    Reply

  15. A random FHP memory popped into my head the other day in reference to #2. I don’t mind buying them, but I do recall grabbing a box in CVS and as I was walking down the aisle to pay a handsome fellow smiled at me, I smiled back for for a second it made my day until I realized what I had in my hand. Ugh.

    Reply

  16. Uh oh, have I revealed too much, too soon? Was that more of a third date kinda admission?

    Reply

    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on April 15, 2009 at 3:03 pm

      Hahahahahaa, Samantha, you are welcome to reveal anything to me. I am Queen of Overshare, so anything you tell me is just a bonus. Also, have we made it to our third date? *wiggles eyebrows*

      Wait, come back, I’m sorry for the wiggling eyebrows. I know that was creepy.

      Reply

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