Confessions, now made public

Here are some of the things I have kept to myself, that I am now spilling into public air in hopes that I feel lighter.

1.  I kind of wish my car had spinners.

2.  Wearing long dangly earrings and painted fingernails make me feel conspicuous. 

3.  I wish I could sing and dance.  But ladies with big bosoms can’t dance.  Or shouldn’t.  Also, sorry male readers.

4.  If there is a choice of being outside and active and staying inside and reading, the book wins every time.  Which is kind of why my body has a squishy appearance.

5.  I wrote the first chapter a few weeks ago to the book in my head. 

6.  Now I’m scared to write the rest.  What if it totally sucks?  Is this how Stephen King felt writing his first book?

7.  How arrogant am I to compare myself to a legend like Stephen King?

8.  Lance and I were talking the other day about our goals, and all I could think is I want to be a writer.  A skinny writer.

9.  Do you remember that scene in Fried Green Tomatoes where Kathy Bates’ character is crying and saying she wished she was brave enough just to get really fat and be done with it?  I totally get that. 

10.  I wished I wasn’t so impatient with people.

11.  Or myself.

12.  Is personal discipline a learned thing?  If so, I missed that lesson.

13.  When I was in the 3rd grade, I was in a spelling bee.  I missed the first word FUGITIVE.  I had never even heard that word before.  I’m still bitter at losing. 

14.  Every school I had ever attended recommended me for the Gifted Program.  We always moved so I never got to be Gifted.  I wonder how my life would be now if I had done that?  I’ll bet I would be able to spell vacuum or broccoli without using Google.

15.  When I was in the 6th grade, I was the fastest female at running in my class.  Then I was diagnosed with hyper-glycemia and my sugar intake was reduced.  Then I became the slowest.  I wished I had that fast-running thing again.  Also, back to the big bosomy thing- it makes running impossible.  And kind of obscene.

16.  I suck at small talk. 

17.  This makes me not so great with new people.

18.  Actually, in real life, I can be pretty intense, which I’m told makes me intimidating.  Also, I need to lighten up.

19.  I fear mediocrity.  And being boring. 

20.  I also fear I’m kind of immature.  Then I think when I’m 80 I’ll wish I was 33 again.  So maybe it doesn’t matter. 

21.  I laugh at inappropriate things.  I’m ok with this.

22.  I haven’t mopped my floors in a month.  I’m also ok with this.

23.  Lance bought me a new computer.  I am kind of scared of it. 

23.  I sometimes lie exaggerate the truth on this here blog, and I’m always surprised when people don’t know that, like my mom.

24.  I have listened to four songs from the Twilight soundtrack  My kids even sing them with me.  I don’t think Lance approves.

25.  I sometimes wonder if life handed me a Do Over, would I take it?

26.  Which is what my book is about.

27.  I also wonder who is still reading this.

28.  Hmm, it seems I am at the end of my confessions.


Want to confess something?  Feel free, you can do it anonymously.


23 responses to this post.

  1. Hmmmm…I don’t see anything about tags, or wanting to write a blog about tags, anywhere in this confessional…I think there is some unfinished business here… 😉


  2. 8. so what steps are you taking to get there? People ask me that all the time.


    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 26, 2009 at 3:21 pm

      Kim D.- Hmm. I am outlining my story right now, developing characters, that sort of thing. I’m bouncing ideas off people, watching for their reaction. I’ve let a handful of folks read my first few pages, gauged their reactions. I’m thinking of details, of back story, of what will seem interesting but not outlandish. I’m also trying to just imagine the story. I’m kind of stuck in the middle, of how to introduce the conflict and then the resolution. I’m also reading a lot. It’s inspirational to read my favorites, and it gives me courage. And I’m tring to remind myself that I just need to go for it. That I’ll regret it if I don’t, even if it sucks and the feedback I get has me curled under my desk in the fetal position.


  3. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 26, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    Also Kim D. I really don’t have one slap clue as to what I’m doing.

    You think the Great Writers out there had that same feeling?


  4. You should write that book. Yours is one of the only (or possibly the only) blogs I actually read word for word. Mostly I just look at the pictures. I’m with you on 10 & 11 – esp. 11. Oh, and 16 & 17 – so many awkward conversations. And, 19-21, and I love that I laugh at inappropriate things – it cracks me up!


  5. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 26, 2009 at 3:30 pm

    Melinda, that is by far the sweetest thing you could say to me. Thank you.


  6. Posted by Robin on March 26, 2009 at 3:43 pm

    o.k. on 1-4 we are EXACTLY the same!!!!!! jake is absolutely refusing to get me the spinners, but i am still hoping.

    9-12 sigh……fat and impatient. well i am both of those, so whatever! where is my ice cream?? i was wanting some for breakfast!

    14 i got an A on every paper i ever wrote in high school and college! why didn’t they let me into mrs palmers class kearsie??? or who was the lady that taught that class???

    15 remember we used to say that we would get black eyes if we ran???? HAHAHAAA!

    16-21 o.k. we are both immature people who laugh at inappropriate things. that is what makes us great at small talk honey.

    24 which 4 songs?

    25 hmmmm i have wondered the same thing and i think i actually would.


  7. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 26, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Robin, the four songs:
    Decode – Paramore
    I Caught Myself – Paramore
    Flightless Bird, American Mouth – Iron & Wine
    Full Moon – Black Ghosts

    I knew we were BFFs.


  8. I lost a spelling bee by not knowing how to spell “ugh”. I spelled it “ug”. UGH. I still kick myself over that one.

    And I went out in the geography bee by missing a question about the state surrounded by water on 3 sides. I answered Hawaii and then immediately put my head in my hands because, hello, it’s Florida AND I LIVED THERE. Even my geography teacher felt bad for me. I felt so dumb.


    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 26, 2009 at 4:15 pm

      You had to spell “ugh”? That sounds awful. Someone in my spelling bee had to spell “H”. They were like…um…can you use it in a sentence?


  9. About the writing thing, I love to read and write. Two of my friends are currently writing a book as am I and we kind of bounce ideas off of one another and it really helps keep the ideas flowing. If you ever want an impartial opinion you can find me by email or on my blog 🙂 I think its great that you want to write 🙂

    From reading your confessions I can see that we are actually a lot alike!


    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 26, 2009 at 4:26 pm

      Jenny that is awesome! Also, if I have you read anything, I promise to bite my tongue when I say my usual “Be gentle, it’s my first time. But be honest.” Thereby making the reader unable to give me anything but thumbs up. I will let you take a red pen to me. I won’t even tell you if it makes me cry. Deal?


  10. 19. I fear mediocrity. And being boring.
    I share this one. 🙂


    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 26, 2009 at 4:51 pm

      Mary, Ocracoke Island looks beautiful! And has an awesome name. Thanks for stopping by!!


  11. I always feel conspicuous in dangly earrings too, I like wearing them though, so I mostly just do around the house…which I guess is REALLY conspicuous. And I’m hypoglycemic, so I know the limitations your blood sugar can put on you. And I’d LOVE to read the first chapter of your book.

    Maybe if you let me, it’d inspire me to write the first chapter in my own book in my head. 😉


  12. Funny sister: Michigan is also surrounded by water on all 3 sides (there are 2 parts of Michigan) so they were stupid!

    Loved this confessions list…I would do it for you, but then you would have to write a second book. Now THERE is an idea!!!!
    Hang in there and keep writing, Sweetie!


  13. I’m a dance teacher and I’m also a double digit girl in clothing size. I think anyone can be a dancer… you just need the right bra! lol


  14. Posted by andythinks on March 27, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    We completely are the same on #s 16-19. This is not good for my line of work, I have to work REALLY hard on a daily basis.


  15. Posted by G N Mills on March 27, 2009 at 6:08 pm

    Regarding #25 on that list. If for some reason that was possible and I did take the chance. What if I messed up in different ways? Would I wish I could do over the do over? Regardless if the chance is available or not I think I will stick with my choices and make the best of it. What choice do I have right?


  16. Posted by Mom on March 30, 2009 at 11:48 pm

    No, you did not have somebody have to spell “H” in a spelling bee, you made that up! (see, I can too tell when you’re making things up)
    What about Alaska, the top, left side and bottom have water around it, would that qualify? I initially thought of Michigan, and I too live in Florida.
    As to your book, it is just started and I’m already dying to read the next little bit as soon as you finish it. You ROCK WHEN YOU WRITE and it will be so good for you when you have it finished & published, you’ll see, everybody will LOVE your book. Keep at it, girlie. 🙂


  17. Read Stephen King’s “On Writing”. He’s as neurotic and self doubting as the rest of us potential authors.


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