She had man hands

So, today I got my taxes done.  I wish I could say I was smart enough to do my own taxes, but really I’m not.  So I pay for someone else to be smart for me.  It’s sort of the same reason I get my hair done by a professional.  I could cut my own hair, but I would pay the price when I was done.  Hair and money, folks.  They are really the same.

I got to my appointment a tad early, cuz that’s the way I roll.  I signed in, sat down and waited, watching some bizarre morning talk show performance.  I have no idea who singers are anymore, sigh.  Finally, they called my name.

The accountant started attacking the keyboard immediately.  You could tell she was super intense.  I was transfixed by her huge man hands.  Seriously.  I couldn’t look away.  Until…

a fight began in the lobby. 

Apparently, an employee was about to get schooled in office etiquette by the boss.  It wasn’t pretty, folks.  I just sat there and stared at my accountant’s man hands and tried to think small thoughts.  I wondered if she was so intent in her Busy Tax Accounting that she failed to hear the two ladies about to brawl.  She eventually got up and closed the door with a resound snap, which clued the two other ladies that there was, in fact, a client in the office.  I didn’t hear another peep.

We talked Tax Stuff, Employment Stuff and Deduction Stuff.  Man, it pays to have kids.  Literally.  Does that sound callous?  Erm.

The appointment was ending and I was paying for her services when a knock at the door made us pause.  The Boss Lady came in and began apologizing profusely for the argument I had overheard.  I assured her that it was ok, as I worked for an attorney, and around here, it’s not a good day until you’ve been cussed out by a scary Defendant who doesn’t want to pay child support.  True story. 

(Editor’s note:  Ok, actually that only happened once.)

Anyways, she apologized again and insisted that my fee be reduced by half.  Not one to protest too loudly, I paid my reduced fee .  I tried not to make eye contact with anyone else and quietly walked to my car. 

The moral of the story:  if you fight in my presence, I will blog about it.


12 responses to this post.

  1. Wow. That was actually a good move on the boss’s part…good customer service always helps business! I wonder if the employees involved got reprimanded or fired?
    Anyway, hope you get a tax refund too.

    I love that blogging gives a lighter side to some of the things that happen to us daily.


  2. Now that’s a conversation I’d love to hear… “So help me, you are going to be NICE and POLITE when a customer is in our freakin’ office, or I will fire your butt so fast it’ll make your head spin! Now go out there and BE NICE, you moron!”


    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 12, 2009 at 8:43 pm

      I heard a lot of:
      “You will NOT make faces at people you work with!”
      “You will also NOT slam the phone down!”
      the other lady would say:
      “I will do what I want to do!”
      “I haven’t slammed the phone down in ages!”

      Hmm, this doesn’t seem nearly as dramatic as in real life.


  3. I laughed out loud at that story. Good work on the discount. I like that, “I haven’t slammed down the phone in ages.”


  4. Kearsie…

    You should have totally started crying, I bet they would have waived the entire fee…

    There’s always next year. Knit the accountant some man hand-sized mittens…I am sure she has trouble finding cute mittens in her size…


  5. Posted by Kamryn on March 12, 2009 at 10:20 pm

    If fighting in front of you gives you blog fodder, you should have plenty to talk about after seeing me and Lilah. Or me and Jared. Or me period. These darn lady chemicals tick me off.

    Good work on the discount. When we were getting our taxes done, I had to pee. On the way to the bathroom, I saw employees taping $30 off coupons to bags of Famous Amos cookies. I asked the tax lady if I could get one and she whispered “sure.” I felt sneaky.


  6. Posted by Carrie on March 12, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    I think the real moral of the story is that God provides in unique situations. 🙂


  7. Posted by Robin on March 12, 2009 at 10:56 pm

    o.k. this one time at band camp….i mean at wee bee’s remember that place kears??) we saw a cashier boy get into a huge fight with the owner and he quit and stormed out in the middle of the lunch rush. this poor kids was brand spankin new and all of these customers kept pestering him about everything while he was trying to take orders and figure out their dumb cash register. some people’s orders were wrong and some people were still waiting for their drinks etc….well the kid kept asking the owner who was cooking) for help and the boss kept refusing! so the kid yells “well then i quit!” and stormed out! jake was like “right on man! i would have quit too!” we have not heard good things about the guy that owns that place in regards to how he runs that business. tisk tisk….

    i am a dork. i leave dorky comments, but oh well…..


  8. making faces?!

    I do my own taxes and hair, both are a mess…


  9. The morel of the story? I love mushrooms.

    I did my own taxes online this year for free. It was e-filed. When I went to check on it right before it was to be direct deposited, I was informed by the IRS that I had made an error. However, they would take care of it and adjust my return to reflect the extra $900 that they would be sending me.

    $900 more and no filing fee!

    Take that H&R Block!


    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 13, 2009 at 4:17 pm

      I would do our own taxes, but there is a Scary Schedule that is Complicated and did I mention Scary?

      I’m glad the IRS was kind to you.

      Also, I love mushrooms too.


  10. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on March 13, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    Ah dang, Sean. Morel = mushrooms.



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