So today was another thrilling day in Child Support Court. I accompany the boss under the guise that I’m here to help him. Secretly I think he just wants all the other lawyers to say, dude, he brought his secretary? He must be really good. Whatevah, it keeps the day interesting so I shan’t complain.
Today, I sat doodling on my legal pad when another attorney sat down and began scribbling furiously on his legal pad. I tried to surrepitiously glance and see if it was anything worth noticing, but his chicken scratch was in code or something. I went back to writing FLOWER POWER on my legal pad surrounded by flowers. I was born in the wrong era, I think.
Then I heard it.
He was a heavy nose breather.
Do you know what I’m talking about? It was so loud that I had to keep myself from looking right at him to see if he had just jogged a mile and was visibly sweaty. I also couldn’t help but wonder if he as a snorer. I wondered if other people nearby could hear him and think it was me heavily nose breathing. At least he wasn’t breathing out of his mouth, that annoys the stew out of me. Also why I carry gum with me all the time, I will so offer you a piece.
I got to looking around the room, people watching to pass the time.
I saw lots of hand talking, from people who can’t say a word without gesturing with their hands. I so wanted to know what they were saying, especially if they were really waving those hands around. I saw lots of head nodding, from people who respond always by nodding their head. These are folks who I’m sure nod even while on the phone and the other party can’t see the nod. I saw lots of hair fiddling, twisting, flipping and finger combing. No telling how many stray strands of hair were floating around. There were the crossed leg folks who bounced their foot in the air. This look is the epitome of boredom. Lots of folks had their cell phones and were texting about their exciting life in Court. I had trouble seeing their face as they were looking solely at their phones. Most of the folks in this latter category were the attorneys. And then there were the gum chewers. Future TMJ afflicted gum chewers.
It got me thinking…
What kinds of phsycial tics do I have? I think I fall in the category of the hair twister. I also must smooth my fingernails if I have nothing to hold in my hands. If I’ve got a pen, I will click and unclick 90 bagilliontimes, or twirl it on my fingertips like a drummer twirls a drumstick. It’s just one of the few things I do that makes me super cool. At least I don’t publicly pick my nose, trying to disguise it with a scratch. Psh, we so know you’re digging for nostril treasures.
What kinds of little habits like this do you have?