Here are some of the things I have kept to myself, that I am now spilling into public air in hopes that I feel lighter.
1. I kind of wish my car had spinners.
2. Wearing long dangly earrings and painted fingernails make me feel conspicuous.
3. I wish I could sing and dance. But ladies with big bosoms can’t dance. Or shouldn’t. Also, sorry male readers.
4. If there is a choice of being outside and active and staying inside and reading, the book wins every time. Which is kind of why my body has a squishy appearance.
5. I wrote the first chapter a few weeks ago to the book in my head.
6. Now I’m scared to write the rest. What if it totally sucks? Is this how Stephen King felt writing his first book?
7. How arrogant am I to compare myself to a legend like Stephen King?
8. Lance and I were talking the other day about our goals, and all I could think is I want to be a writer. A skinny writer.
9. Do you remember that scene in Fried Green Tomatoes where Kathy Bates’ character is crying and saying she wished she was brave enough just to get really fat and be done with it? I totally get that.
10. I wished I wasn’t so impatient with people.
11. Or myself.
12. Is personal discipline a learned thing? If so, I missed that lesson.
13. When I was in the 3rd grade, I was in a spelling bee. I missed the first word FUGITIVE. I had never even heard that word before. I’m still bitter at losing.
14. Every school I had ever attended recommended me for the Gifted Program. We always moved so I never got to be Gifted. I wonder how my life would be now if I had done that? I’ll bet I would be able to spell vacuum or broccoli without using Google.
15. When I was in the 6th grade, I was the fastest female at running in my class. Then I was diagnosed with hyper-glycemia and my sugar intake was reduced. Then I became the slowest. I wished I had that fast-running thing again. Also, back to the big bosomy thing- it makes running impossible. And kind of obscene.
16. I suck at small talk.
17. This makes me not so great with new people.
18. Actually, in real life, I can be pretty intense, which I’m told makes me intimidating. Also, I need to lighten up.
19. I fear mediocrity. And being boring.
20. I also fear I’m kind of immature. Then I think when I’m 80 I’ll wish I was 33 again. So maybe it doesn’t matter.
21. I laugh at inappropriate things. I’m ok with this.
22. I haven’t mopped my floors in a month. I’m also ok with this.
23. Lance bought me a new computer. I am kind of scared of it.
23. I sometimes lie exaggerate the truth on this here blog, and I’m always surprised when people don’t know that, like my mom.
24. I have listened to four songs from the Twilight soundtrack every.single.day. My kids even sing them with me. I don’t think Lance approves.
25. I sometimes wonder if life handed me a Do Over, would I take it?
26. Which is what my book is about.
27. I also wonder who is still reading this.
28. Hmm, it seems I am at the end of my confessions.
Want to confess something? Feel free, you can do it anonymously.