I need a cure.

“OK, Kearsie, what seems to be the problem?”

“Well, Doctor, it’s my writing.  Every time I sit down to write, I freeze.”

“Hmm.  Have you tried wearing gloves?  I hear Isotoners work wonders.”

“Erm, no.  Not that kind of freeze.  I mean, I can’t write anything.”

“Sounds like a clear case of illiteracy.  There are programs at the local school that can cure that in a few months, if you’ll dedicate yourself to hard work and-”

“No, that’s not what I mean either!  Sigh.  What I mean is, I don’t know what to write or how to write-er, no, scratch that last part.  I know how to write just fine.”

“So, you mean you don’t know what to write.  Do you write…words?”

“Are you kidding me?  Of course I write words.  I write lots of words.  Some big words, some small words, silly words like discombobulate or vaginal or-”

“Kearsie, I don’t understand.  You say you can’t write but it seems that indeed, you can.”

“Well, what I mean is, I can’t write anything…funny.” 

“I see.  Hold out your arm, please.”

“Like this?”

“Yes.  Now, bend it to a 38 degree angle.  No no, that’s 57 degrees.  Bend it just a little more.”

“Ok, like this?”

“Yes, let me just take a look.  Mm hmm, mm hmm.  I see the problem.  It’s a sprain on your funny bone.  It happens all the time.  I suggest you read two of these and call me in the morning if you’re not better.”

“Ok, that sounds easy enough.  Thanks, Doc…Well, can I take off this paper dress?”

“Erm, that’s not an examination gown.  It’s a wad of paper towels I used to wipe up my spilled coffee.”



7 responses to this post.

  1. The suspense is overwhelming!!

    Will Kearsie ever write the funny again??

    Will eating (or reading about) two cakes heal her funny bone? What about the other funny bone? Does she only have one?

    Will she recover from wearing coffee stained paper towels?

    Well, I think all will be OK, as I know I’m still laughing!


  2. I am calling bull-honkey (yes, I just wrote that!) on you not being funny. And next time you wear paper napkins, it’s best to take a picture.


  3. *shakes head* You are just funny.


  4. Posted by Sean on February 17, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    Heh heh, your misfortune makes me laugh.

    Does that help? Or make it worse?:D


  5. ha! I needed that.


  6. Ummm…those weren’t paper towels….that was part of your medical chart. Now you have the words “paranoid” stenciled on your ass from your sweat and the chart ink.
    But it is the wrong diagnosis…because that was damn funny and you don’t have anything to worry about (or be paranoid about!) LMAO!


  7. Posted by Alice Wiggins on February 18, 2009 at 1:00 pm

    I agree with The Retired One…I’m so sorry to hear about your injury, but I’m sure if you stop worrying (HA!) it will work itself out. Still laughing at The Retired One. Paranoid, now that’s funny!


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