Deep breaths

I am having a panic attack.

Well, I don’t know if I’m actually having a panic attack, because I’ve never had a real panic attack so I have nothing to compare this to.

I just submitted three of my posts to a humor contest. I have this girl to blame. She made me do it. Well…not really. Actually she just sent me the link to the contest and said she was going to enter too. So really it was like peer pressure. Well…not really, but I was interested and comforted she was entering too.

Geez, I’m blathering.

(Editor’s note: blather is such a fun word. Also a fun word: frock. We should totally make this a retro word and bring it back.)

I went to lunch with my husband yesterday and confessed to him that I felt weird about entering the contest.

ME: I feel so weird! Like I just bared my breasts to the judges and now I’m just waiting for them to look at me and say, meh.

LANCE: You have nice breasts.

Sigh. He doesn’t get it. I’m slightly afraid you sweet readers won’t get it either. And I really hope no really godly people read this post and feel like they have to cleanse their eyes because I said breasts. It’s way better than vaginal.

I need to stop now.

**My pal, Jenny, is hosting a giveaway featuring her awesome and beautiful handmade jewelry. Visit her at Jenny Bunny Creations or Jenny Bunny on Etsy and pick your favorite item. Then copy and paste the link to that item and your email address on this post. The winner will be chosen on January 31, 2009 at noon. You can email her here if you want to leave her a love note. Enjoy!

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11 responses to this post.

  1. Isn’t frock that felted, Italian wallpaper, usually red in color?

    Is a “blather” a blog, slathered a plethora of non-nonsensical, yet humorous anticdotes and vignettes, and forbidden body parts?

    Am I still using real words?

    Maybe we should “pad” our entrance fees, you know, “push them up” a bit…make sure we underwire, I mean, underline our greatest assets…

    Please, someone, stop me now…

    Reply

  2. You need to chill. You are one of the (ten) funniest people I know. Seriously.

    Blather is a fun word. Vaginal is funnier.

    Reply

  3. Posted by akshanon on January 23, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    To Insanity Kim…wallpaper is Flocked.
    Kearsie…the contest ends on Jan 21st and your blog is dated Jan 23rd. Does that mean we all missed the deadline?
    You are such a funny writer. Keep writing. You give me hope that one day I can do it too.

    Reply

  4. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on January 23, 2009 at 10:55 pm

    Thank you Aunt Shanon I fixed that date to read Jan 31!

    Reply

  5. “Flocked” isn’t what birds did before they landed? It’s wallpaper???

    Man…I need a dictionary!

    Reply

  6. Posted by Jaime Williamson on January 24, 2009 at 3:20 am

    Will we be able to read your contest entry? And I think we all need to take a vote for you to do your blog entry on the vajaja!!

    Reply

  7. Posted by Alice Wiggins on January 24, 2009 at 9:10 pm

    I know I’m late to the party, but boy did I need that
    laugh(s)! I don’t know which was funnier, Lance for being such a guy or Insanity Kim for not knowing what a frock is. And her definition of “flocked” sent me to laughter land again. I’m glad to know you have nice breasts and I look forward to finding out how the contest comes out. You ARE a very funny writer. Good luck!

    Reply

  8. Posted by Alice Wiggins on January 24, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    What time is this website set to????? It’s 4:10 p.m. in Florida & it says I posted at 9:10 pm. I’m old, I’m in bed by 9:10 pm!

    Reply

  9. Posted by itsjustmythang on January 25, 2009 at 3:53 am

    I like the word Frak. “Like what the frak?” I’m such a sci-fi nerd. Oh and Kearsie my friend, you are hilarious. If I could live with you again, it would lift my spirits daily. I would loose weight from laughing soo much, really. I could handle that weight lose plan fer shizzle. 😉 Rember when we tried to wake up early and work out to, was to Tony Little?

    Reply

  10. i’m one of jenny’s 10.

    you’re higher on the list than me.

    futile is a funny word. as is marsupial. futile marsupial.

    Reply

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