I am giddy with joy as I sit here today, writing to all you wonderful people who read these words.
See, here’s what happened. We made plans to go on a road trip this weekend to visit some friends we haven’t seen in over a year. I, as a girl with a big fat girly mind, immediately thought: oh no! I haven’t lost 90 pounds! My hair still looks like a frizz ball! And I haven’t bought anything new to wear except for new underwear in a year! I must shop!
So, today during lunch, I went to the only store in town that caters to folks like me. Cato’s.
Cato’s is a clothing store that has funky, cool, in style clothes (I assume) and excellent clearance racks. And, they have jeans to fit Fatty McFattingtons. And not only that, Short Fatty McFattingtons. Because despite what the world’s clothing designers think, it is possible to not only be a little on the wider side, but be shorter than the average 5’10” model walking the runway. For real. Anyone else out there feel me on that? Moving on.
So, I had less than an hour to hunt down a great pair of jeans that would instantly transform me from frumpy mom to smokin hot mama. I found them. And they were reasonably priced. And they look great. And I bought them. And actually for half a minute thought about wearing them out of the store (because I’m kind of a dork, too). Not only that, I found a great shirt that doesn’t enhance the girls and make them the showcase of my outfit.
(Editor’s note: Erm. The Girls is a more polite and tactful way of referring to boobies. Just sayin.)
So, I sought, I bought and I drove back to work and immediately hopped on my computer to let you all in on my great finds, because I am a slave to your enjoyment, obviously.
Now…what to do about my hair as I haven’t had a haircut since this post…that’s the next battle.
Yo, Cato, big ups for rockin the hizzouse and not making my hizzips look so hizzuge. I heart you.