Me and scary movies

Sigh.  You know, you’d think after thirty three years of living and breathing, I’d figure out that me and scary movies just don’t go together.  Like, mayonnaise and anything.  (I know, I know, most of you folks lurve mayo.  Well, you’re gross.)

The other night, I sat and watched Poltergeist by myself.  It was on Turner Classic or American Movie Channel or something so it showed the whole thing, uncut.  Lance was still at work, I was bored, the girls were safely shut in the bedroom watching Incredibles.  I thought, psh, I can handle this!  I mean, it’s been like, 26 years since I last saw this!  Surely I won’t have any reactions other than, “geez, special effects sure have come a long way”. 

Nope.

The last two nights, I have lain awake, remembering certain scenes of Poltergeist, thinking thoughts like “Ack!  What was that noise?“, “Did something just touch my foot?!  Oh, it’s just Lance’s foot.“, “Crap, I shouldn’t have watched that movie.”

I was too chicken to tell Lance I was scared.  I mean, what was I going to do?  Tap him on the shoulder and say, “Um.  I am scared of Poltergeist.”  And what was he going to say?  “Um.  Ok.  Sorry.”  Yeah, that would’ve solved the problem.

I think when it comes to scary movies, it’s the movies starring kids as the main character that get me.  There’s so many scary movies involving children: 

* Children of the Corn

* The Ring

* The Shining

* The Sixth Sense

* Chucky

* The Omen

* The Exorcist

* Watcher in the Woods

* Something Wicked This Way Comes

That’s just the few I can think of off the top of my head.  Why are children so freaking scary?

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21 responses to this post.

  1. This is why…

    I can’t eat corn, of any kind
    I have a tattooed wedding ring, not a real one
    I love matte finishes
    I can’t watch ESPn
    There are no dolls in the house
    I can’t befriend anyone named Damien
    Pea soup is actually a four-letter word in my world
    I hate camping, and
    I never say, “hey what is that?” and go investigate. I will ALWAYS run away, shut the door and lock it behind me!

    Reply

  2. Posted by Aunt Shanon on January 6, 2009 at 6:19 pm

    I cannot watch scarey movies by myself or with someone else. They just scare the begeebers out of me. Big time. My worst one is called Dead and Buried. I will NEVER watch that one again. No matter what.
    I like to be thrilled, not be scared silly with blood and gore. Or better yet, give me a good comedy.

    Reply

  3. ok. scary movies are the worst. and at night, when i’m ready to sleep at 2:30am because i’ve stayed up chatting with my friends on yahoo or aim or the tempermental fb chat… i don’t just get into bed. i run and jump.

    seriously. and literally. because of that girl under my bed. you know that girl that pushes her shoebox of evidence out in the the sixth sense. yeah. she’s under my bed. i think i hate her.

    Reply

    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on January 6, 2009 at 8:18 pm

      Wait. You stay up until 2:30? You know that’s really close to the “witching hour”, right? At 3:00 a.m.? … And I’ve just made you afraid of time.

      Reply

  4. Posted by Amy on January 6, 2009 at 8:43 pm

    My husband and I decided years ago that haunted kids are one of the scariest things on earth–I think it was on the way back from seeing The Exorcist. (We had to leave the theater because it is not just scary it is nauseating.)
    I am not just afraid of scary movies, I am afraid of scary movie commercials. There is one out now with (surprise) haunted kids & their heads are all upside down and creepy. It is horrible! Just thinking about it long enough to type this may give me nightmares!

    Reply

    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on January 6, 2009 at 10:01 pm

      Amy, I think I know which one you mean, and you’re right. Why they gotta be making kids all scary?

      Reply

  5. I can’t do scary movies either. If I see anything remotely frightening, I have to watch it during the day, or I have to immediately follow it with something crazy funny, or starring Adam Sandler. He’s like my scary anecdote. I even had to sleep with a light on after seeing Scream, if that tells you anything.

    Does Kim know that people think I look like Linda Blair? Is she not going to be my friend anymore because of that? ::sob::

    Reply

    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on January 6, 2009 at 9:43 pm

      I don’t know about Kim, but….just kidding! But if you eat pea soup and spit it out and waive crucifixes, I’m gone.

      Reply

  6. The Husband wonders why I won’t even try pea soup. That’s the only reason, and I’ve never seen the movie.

    Reply

  7. THANK YOU for mentioning The Watcher in the Woods. I have been trying to remember the name of that movie for months! I haven’t seen it since I was a kid and love it.

    Generally, I don’t mind scary movies. The Ring about killed me though, but I thought it was done really well.

    I like the intelligent, suspenseful scary movies and NOT the stupid slasher ones. Oh, except for the Scream movies. They were more funny than scary anyway.

    I’m talking alot. Sorry.

    Reply

  8. Posted by Joel on January 7, 2009 at 2:44 am

    Here’s a homeschool moment for you! The reason

    “The Exorcist. (We had to leave the theater because it is not just scary it is nauseating.)”

    is because they actually recorded the sound of a pig slaughter house and would play it during the “head spinning” scenes. When the movie came out in the theater, people would literally vomit.

    Reply

  9. OK…

    Vanessa, you do not look like Linda Blair…I will never ask you to eat pea soup, you will always be my friend.

    The scariest movie I have ever seen is “When a Stranger Calls” the kids were not bad…the…man…in…their…room…was…

    *whispers over the phone* have you checked the children?

    The music was enough to require a defibrillator to be handy. Maybe the music was played by children…

    Reply

  10. “Watcher in the Woods” is the reason that I just CAN NOT stand by a window when it’s dark outside. I get the heebie jeebies and freak the heck out. And I don’t scare easy. But I watched that movie at my aunt and uncle’s house one night with Vanessa and they lived on a secluded road RIGHT BY THE WOODS. Ugh! I haven’t watched that movie since and I’m still freaked out! I think I was about 8 or something when we watched it.

    Reply

    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on January 7, 2009 at 3:12 pm

      I can’t hear the name “Karen” without immediately thinking “NAREK”. People named Karen are doomed.

      Reply

  11. Posted by Mom on January 9, 2009 at 1:49 am

    Kears, did Poltergiest scare you more that the Zombie movie did when you were seven? You were freaked out for days. I still don’t “do” scary movies. I don’t “do” bloody movies or graphic movies or anything that is going to freak me out make me sick give me an anxiety attack make me want my mommy. And I will never ever read another Stephen King book at night again, not after reading The Manitou and realizing I was alone, it was night and there was this strange, spooky, scary noise coming from the closet it sounds like there’s somebody in there but it can’t be, I’m ALL ALONE here, what IS that NOISE…ahhh…, have to calm myself down now…..okay, deep breath, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, no, THAT reminds me of the drowning scene in the movie The Abyss…ack! No more movies! No more scary books! No more thoughts of pea soup and mayo sandwiches!

    Reply

  12. Posted by Carolyn G on January 9, 2009 at 4:23 am

    I LOVE scary movies but I do agree that the kids are creepier than creepy. The creepiest kids are defo the ones in Children of the Corn.

    Reply

  13. Hmm. I don’t know, but they sure are.

    What I want to know is where they find these kids. Some just look innately creepy, so much so that I wonder what it’s like to be their parents. Like the kids from the Omen movies. How do their parents sleep at night with them in the house???

    Reply

  14. Also, I’ve never heard of Watcher in The Woods, I’ll have to check it out.

    Reply

  15. That is absolutely hilarious!

    My 12 year old thought he was all big and tough, wanting to watch a horror movie. So I thought I’d teach him a lesson. That’s right. I made him watch Poltergeist. But before you call “the people,” just know that he never. even. flinched. I, on the other hand, made sure I didn’t drink any fluids after 6 p.m. for the next several weeks.

    Reply

  16. Posted by Rita on January 10, 2009 at 8:17 pm

    I know, scary and horror movies with children seem even scarier. I think adding children with the creepy music adds on to the horror effect. Thats why I can’t watch them at all.

    Reply

  17. Posted by Jodi on January 11, 2009 at 7:42 pm

    I agree. Kids in horror movies definitely make them worse for me too. I have an issue with dolls in scary movies too. I just can’t handle that stuff…lol

    Reply

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