The post where I tell you how stellar I am at getting things done in a timely and professional manner

I know, you’re thinking, can you make that post name any longer, Kearsie?  Well, smart alecky blog reader, I’m sure I could if you really want me to go there.

Sorry.

I’m grouchy today.  It’s Monday, and I so do not want to be at work.  I’d much rather be curled up in my flannel jammies watching A Christmas Story or listening to Addie have imaginary soap operaesque conversations on her cell phone.  Alas, here I am. 

So, last year, around Christmas, I told my mother in law that I was going to make some new stockings for her house.  See, the stockings she had were just…paltry attempts at Christmas cheer.  They were drab and boring and I really hope she didn’t make them and is reading this because I will so be getting something terrible in mine. 

Anyways, so I said I was going to make her some that would reflect all our personalities.  (Just us adults, the kids get snowmen and junk.)  She agreed, and I got to work. 

My father in law is a cowboy.  Like, for real, there are cows surrounding our house and he’s as comfortable on a horse as I am on my couch.  He’s got a successful horse boarding and horse riding training business.  So, of course, I made him a cowboy boot.

Cowboy boot stocking

Reitzel's Cowboy boot

 

Ok, so it’s not a perfect boot.  Dude, it’s way hard sewing leather, so just nod and let’s move along.

My mother in law is supa stylish and classy.  So, I made her a black satin high heeled boot.

Ginger's black boot

Ginger's black boot

   

Once again, way hard sewing with satin.  But since love is in the details, I added a zipper.  Try to ignore the fact that she’ll be lucky if we can fit a pencil in there.   

My sister in law is always at the height of fashion.  She’s bold, she’s daring  and she makes me feel frumpy.  But I love her anyways so I made her an Ugg boot.  Which was popular last year and will most likely be on the “Do not wear unless you want to be thought of as unstylish and ugly” list soon.  Whatevah. 
Merriem's Ugg boot

Merriem's Ugg boot

There was white fuzz on me from head to toe, but I thought this was nice.  Details included gathered seam, just like on a real boot and giant poofy puff balls.  The fact that the poofy puff balls weigh the entire thing down and make the stocking fold over on itself is best left unmentioned.  You see how I had to prop them up on the window ledge?  I know, nice.

For my brother in law, Danny, I made a clown shoe.  Danny started writing not too long ago and is way too funny.  Seriously, we mustn’t tell him because he already has a hard time finding a hat to fit his huge head.  Just kidding, except for the freakishly large head.  Haha, Danny, I know you’re reading this.  You may spike my fruit tea but maybe I made your assistant, Laurie laugh and that’ll make three weeks in the hospital worth it. 

Danny's clown shoe

Danny's clown shoe

 *Shudder*…sorry, I was having It flashbacks.  “Oh yes Georgie, they float.  They all float down here”… *shudder*.

So, then it was just down to me and Lance.  All year long, I would remember that I had to work on them. 

March 18th:  Hmm, what to do for me and Lance.  Oh, I’ve got 9 months, who cares?

August 3:  Dude, what should I make for me and Lance?  Psh, I’ve still got time.

October 29:  Dang, I really need to figure this out.  I’ll get right on that.

November 30:  Crap, WHAT SHOULD I DO FOR ME AND LANCE?  MUST MAKE THEM NOW.

December 21:  Sigh.  I just don’t care.  My fingers are bleeding from all the knitting I’ve done and I cannot bring myself to think of another crafty thing.

 

So this is what we have:

Stockings for me and Lance
Stockings for me and Lance

You know what?  I think that reflects our personality perfectly.

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6 responses to this post.

  1. Gimme a stocking.

    (pretend like this isn’t down here, so as not to ruin my post up there…I LOVED this! So awesome! I hope they truly appreciate your love, humor AND talent!)

    Reply

  2. Woo-hoo! Guess who just figured out how to work the interweb at the in-laws? Kearsie, you know that my freakishly large head is just growing up through my hair…how else do you explain the vast expanse of skin that gets vaster and vaster every year?

    (I still dig the clown stocking…I think I have more room for stuff than anybody else’s.)

    Reply

  3. i love your stockings.

    my stocking is a toe sock. of course.

    Reply

  4. Hilarious! The stockings look great too! Way to go!

    Reply

  5. They are fantastic.Great thought and work.merry Christmas.

    Reply

  6. I hope someone puts jellybeans in Winn’s toe sock!

    Reply

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