The Christmas Story, from Addie’s perspective

You cannot grow up a child of a preacher without being trained in the true Christmas story.  You know, the stuff about Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus.  Bonus points if you know the gifts from the three wise men.  

Emma, since the age of 4, could tell you all about every detail.  Part of that was because we weren’t going to do the whole Santa Claus thing (I know, I know, we’re such horrific parents, how dare we bring our kid up without a fictional character as the main star?  We’ve since amended our ways, so SHUTTY).  

Today at lunch, Addie, who is also 4, was excited to tell us her rendition :


ADDIE:  And the angel said, Greetings!  You’ve got a new job!  Taking care of a new baby!

LANCE:  (Digging for spiritual depth)  And where was the baby from?  

ADDIE:  (Shrugs)  Mary’s bottom?


…Well, it’s sort of the truth.


7 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Alice Wiggins on December 8, 2008 at 3:35 pm

    I love stories about your girls, but I have to say Addie is special. I bet she’s your literal kid, huh? Stacy’s Aaron is very literal; example: Grandma: “You gonna finish that coke?” Aaron: “It’s a Dr. Pepper.” I think Addie hit it right on the head. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE reading your blog.


  2. OK, after that rendition, KEEP SANTA OUT! FOR REAL!

    It will just be a matter of time before she figures out that “Santa” also spells “Satan” and she’ll start running around, telling kids that “Santasatan” slides in through the cracks of walls and puts legions of his horrible minions in their toys and pets.

    Just a thought…maybe I shouldn’t post comments before I have had my coffee…


  3. hahahah!

    and gross.


  4. Posted by Megan on December 8, 2008 at 10:22 pm

    I can hear her saying this!! Incredible! I just love this little gal…so special.


  5. Posted by Kamryn on December 9, 2008 at 12:50 am

    You know, when Addie grows up she should start charging for little bits of wisdom like this. Like that little girl in the commercial who spouts of tidbits when you put a quarter in the machine. Smart cookie, that one.


  6. Posted by Mom on December 9, 2008 at 9:45 pm

    Is this going to end up being like the story of the 3 Wise Men? (the Spirit, the Ghost and the Holy Dude?). Hope you’re writing this down in Addie’s baby book…..come to think of it, I hope you can FIND Addie’s baby book!


    • Posted by soundsliketomatoes on December 9, 2008 at 9:51 pm

      Hey hey, now. I’m not a total loser. I know just where Addie’s baby book is. It’s right underneath that layer of dust on the bookshelf.


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