My life is not a commercial

Rice Krispies commercial:  A mom is in her kitchen, her two children at her side, helping to make a batch of Rice Krispies Treats.  They are all smiles, Mom is patiently watching her children take turns stirring.  She looks on proudly as a child scoops and spreads the gooey mixture in a pan. 

Real life:

ADDIE:  (crying) I wanted to pour the Rice Krispies into the bowl!

EMMA:  It was your turn last time!  Momma, tell her she’s not being fair!

ME:  (trying to dredge up a smile and some of that heartwarming goodness that I should be feeling)  Now, now, girls.  Everyone will get to do something.  Let’s be patient.

ADDIE:  (Grabbing the spoon from Emma)  I want to stir!  You stirred last time! 

EMMA:  No fair!  She gets to do everything!

ADDIE:  Nuh uh! 

ME:  Sigh.  Addie, since you poured, let Emma stir for a bit, then you can stir.

EMMA:  Never mind, I’ll just go watch TV.  (Stomps off dejectedly)

ME:  Hey! Get back here!  We’re doing this together!

EMMA:  Pout.  Pout.  More pouting.  Crosses her arms and glares at me.

ADDIE:  (Grabs spoon and stirs vigorously.  Rice Krispies cascade to the floor in a cereal wave.)  Oops, sorry Mommy.

EMMA:  Momma, she just poured that right on me!  (She looks at her foot with two pieces of Rice Krispies stuck there as though they are burning a hole through her sock.)

ADDIE:  (yelling) No I didn’t!  It was an accident!  You’re not being nice! I’m telling on you!

ME:  (Trying to figure out what to do next:  sweep or take a Valium)  Stop!  Just stop!  (I take a deep breath)  Emma, if you’ll get the broom I can sweep this up and we can start over.

EMMA:  (Does her best imitation of teenage drama)  What?!  I didn’t spill it!  Why do I have to get the broom?!

ME:  ARG!  Never mind, out!  Out of the kitchen!  Go!  Shoo!

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12 responses to this post.

  1. real life is awesome.

    so awesome it makes you want to video record the experience and send a copy to your local tv station informing them of the false advertisement kellogg’s portrays.

    you should have worn toe socks. that would have been a good distraction. “emma, you stir. addie, you look at my toesies”.

    Reply

  2. Posted by Tiffany on November 19, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    Hahahahahaha! That is sooooooooo real life! 🙂 Gotta love the arguing btw siblings! 🙂

    Reply

  3. You can’t sweep and take a Valium at the same time?

    Reply

  4. Note to self: Buy pre-packaged Rice Krispy treats for holiday snacks with the girls.

    Reply

  5. Posted by Kamryn on November 19, 2008 at 11:54 pm

    Oh great. You tell me this AFTER I get pregnant again. Where was this knowlege in May?

    Reply

  6. Posted by fivemoreminutesplease on November 20, 2008 at 4:04 am

    Are you sure you aren’t spying on my family? I mean, that is practically identical to my world!

    Reply

  7. Posted by Alice Wiggins on November 20, 2008 at 1:30 pm

    Oh, Sean, you do so underestimate Mothers everywhere. We can take a valium and do everything in that “I’m a Woman” song (look it up if you’re too young to remember it). Seriously, never took a valium but Oh, did I want to. Add a third child to that mix and it gets really interesting. If only life were like tv commercials wouldn’t life be grand? Not really, but it’s nice to think about.

    Reply

  8. Posted by Candy on November 20, 2008 at 1:41 pm

    Oh so true that is why I assign nights to my children only one in the kitchen at a time … now when we allll made daddy’s birthday cake it was a whole nother story…. quite similar to yours but with eggs involved.. lol

    Reply

  9. wow. i can’t wait to have kids.

    *debating on just having tons of cats now*

    Reply

  10. Posted by Aunt Melissa on November 20, 2008 at 6:22 pm

    hysterical. I laughed a lot reading this post. I don’t have that trouble since I only have 1 child; you are more blessed than me…. And I know you know what I’m talking about.

    The never ending joys of children… Thanks for the laughs.

    Reply

  11. Wait, just when were you at my house? My kitchen is small, so I would have seen you…I just went through this…hmmmm…maybe it’s just rice crispy treats, evil things…

    Robin directed me to you as you like to blog as well! Will enjoy following it, and I put it on my blog for others to check out as well!!

    Reply

  12. Posted by Dawn Meehan on December 8, 2008 at 2:00 am

    LOL! Did this cooking extravaganza end with a bottle of wine? If so, then it’s just like at my home!

    Reply

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