Rice Krispies commercial: A mom is in her kitchen, her two children at her side, helping to make a batch of Rice Krispies Treats. They are all smiles, Mom is patiently watching her children take turns stirring. She looks on proudly as a child scoops and spreads the gooey mixture in a pan.
ADDIE: (crying) I wanted to pour the Rice Krispies into the bowl!
EMMA: It was your turn last time! Momma, tell her she’s not being fair!
ME: (trying to dredge up a smile and some of that heartwarming goodness that I should be feeling) Now, now, girls. Everyone will get to do something. Let’s be patient.
ADDIE: (Grabbing the spoon from Emma) I want to stir! You stirred last time!
EMMA: No fair! She gets to do everything!
ADDIE: Nuh uh!
ME: Sigh. Addie, since you poured, let Emma stir for a bit, then you can stir.
EMMA: Never mind, I’ll just go watch TV. (Stomps off dejectedly)
ME: Hey! Get back here! We’re doing this together!
EMMA: Pout. Pout. More pouting. Crosses her arms and glares at me.
ADDIE: (Grabs spoon and stirs vigorously. Rice Krispies cascade to the floor in a cereal wave.) Oops, sorry Mommy.
EMMA: Momma, she just poured that right on me! (She looks at her foot with two pieces of Rice Krispies stuck there as though they are burning a hole through her sock.)
ADDIE: (yelling) No I didn’t! It was an accident! You’re not being nice! I’m telling on you!
ME: (Trying to figure out what to do next: sweep or take a Valium) Stop! Just stop! (I take a deep breath) Emma, if you’ll get the broom I can sweep this up and we can start over.
EMMA: (Does her best imitation of teenage drama) What?! I didn’t spill it! Why do I have to get the broom?!
ME: ARG! Never mind, out! Out of the kitchen! Go! Shoo!