You know your life is too busy when you have to squeeze in a date on an unromantic Wednesday night. But that’s our life right now, so I’m not complaining.
After a quick bite at Steak Out, we went to see The Women, starring Meg Ryan, Annette Bening, Debra Messing, Jada Pinket-Smith and Candice Bergen. There were other stars, of course, all a great cast. I must give my dear husband big props for willingly going to see a movie that he was surely to be the only one watching with facial hair.
The Women, is a movie about New York women who are friends from completely different backgrounds. You’ve got a career woman, a lesbian, a hippy mother and a woman who tries to do it all. Through a manicure at Saks, one of the friends learns that her best friend’s husband is having an affair with the “Spritzer girl” at Saks, played by Eva Mendes. It’s, in short, a movie about relationships, betrayal and finding yourself.
I thought it was great. Of course, I have estrogen and boobs and a uterus and this movie was plainly geared to folks such as me. In fact, there wasn’t one man in the movie. There were lots of them eluded to, but it was only gals on the big screen.
Now, admittedly, this is a movie about a group of women in a whole different world. New York, land of the fashion show, land of Prada, land of spending more on a lunch than I’d spend on an outfit. I’ve read a lot about life in New York (The Devil Wears Prada, Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, Everyone Worth Knowing, etc.), but I have no real basis for knowledge. I would be the awkward tourist, balking at paying $15 for a cheeseburger. I would be the loudly protesting woman who refused to pay $50 for a cab to take her three blocks. I, who wear not even last season’s shoes but shoes from four seasons ago, and I bought them on sale at Sears. And let’s not even touch my hair issues. New York is an alternate universe.
And to be fair, this movie has as it’s whole underlying theme “Be selfish, take time for yourself, find yourself, self, self, self”, which made my husband crazy. It’s pop psychology at it’s best, a completely liberal mindset.
I, however, kind of related. Let me just sound off for a moment.
My life consists of several well defined roles: I’m a wife, a mom, an employee, a daughter, a sister and a friend. Each of those roles are important and need to be fed in order to remain healthy. But this is worth noting- each of those roles affect the other person. I’m a wife, which affects my husband, I’m a mom which affects my children, etc. But take away any of those relationships and what am I left with?
I love what Candice Bergen says (she plays Meg Ryan’s mother). She says, “I never accomplished anything. I was ambivalent.” Meaning, as she reached the older part of her life, still chasing beauty and security, there was nothing she was proud of. She never invested anything of herself into anything else. I wonder, isn’t that what EVERYONE is afraid of? That as they reach the later portions of life that they will look back and regret how little they gave of themselves, that they didn’t at least TRY something? Well, maybe that spoke to me because this is what I’m afraid of and I’m only 32.
It made Lance upset that I bought into this message, but I don’t want to regret anything. I want to invest myself into all those relationships, betrayal eminent or not, and in essence invest myself into something. Find something I’m good at and do it. I want to find my sweet spot. I want to do what I love and get paid for it. The trouble is, what is that? And what does it look like? And is that something I can pursue now? Or do I need to wait until finances are better, the children are grown, we are more settled somewhere?
Is this something you think about too? What are you investing in?