When McDonald’s does their yearly Monopoly Game thingy, do you all participate? Buying those items that have that magical removable sticker that just might, just might, be the winning sticker that sends you into a world of wealth or at the very least a free Large Fry?
It’s amazing the things people will buy in order to strike it rich. It’s like food lottery. Let me pay a little more for a meal, because just maybe it’ll contain the Wonka-like golden ticket!
I have been collecting points forEVER for my coke rewards. Every 20 oz. Coke product has a code. My purse will be filled with several weeks of bottle caps, completely hindering my ability to find things I need like my phone or Blistex. But I keep them, because each one is 3 points. That’s right, 3 points! I’m 3 points closer to a trip around the world that costs 9 gazillion points! (Editor’s note: totally just made up that prize, do not contact mycokerewards.com and attempt to win a trip around the world) Every fridge pack of Coke product contains a code that is worth 10 points! That’s the big code bearing product, right there. Definitely worth stuffing your purse with several chunks of cardboard you’ve ripped apart, carefully saving that precious code.
There are two voices in me at times. There’s the one I call “Hope” and the other I call “Cynic”. Daily there are conversations going on between the two over various degrees of severity. Sometimes its about innocuous things like whether or not my children will ever learn how to change the toilet paper roll before I die and pass on that particular responsibility. Other times its over more serious issues like whether or not old people should drive or if the institution of marriage is something sacred anymore. I’m full of thoughts, people. If it weren’t for this place to dump my thoughts, I just may go crazy and begin laughing hysterically and start wearing my bra outside my clothes or something.
So today, I had three codes to enter into the points bank at mycokerewards.com. I sat there, and let the two voices go at it. It went something like this:
HOPE: Yes! We entered 16 points today!
CYNIC: Big whoop. 16 points, what’ll that get you? A piece of gum?
HOPE: Now, Cynic, be optimistic! One day these points will pay off!
CYNIC: With our luck, by the time we save enough points to do anything worthwhile with them they’ll shut down the rewards program.
HOPE: Well, I’m still going to keep entering those codes, because one day we’ll get some great prizes.
CYNIC: There’s nothing even worth saving for!
HOPE: Yes, huh! Look-you can…um…you can get a small popcorn with the purchase of a Coke product at your local AMC theater!
CYNIC: Fantastic. That’d be great if we even HAD A LOCAL AMC THEATER!
HOPE: True…true…ok-here’s a good one-a Samsung 19″ HDTV with Integrated ATSC tuner! We’d only need *mumble mumble, carry the 1, divide by 900, square root, Pythagorean theorem…* 9 billion more points!
CYNIC: 19 inches? Are you crazy? Are you going to buy every one magnifying glasses or binoculars as well?
HOPE: Fine. Ok, well there’s a whole school section. Surely you can’t scoff at the school section. Look-this is one of the smaller items. It’s a pack of Color Splash! Construction Paper, only 544 points.
CYNIC: So you want to spend virtually all of our hard earned points on some construction paper that we could buy at the dollar store for $1.00? Don’t you know how long it took to save all of our points? Paper? Seriously?
HOPE: *Huff Puff* Fine, no paper. Ok, how about a yoga mat and a carrier? What about that? Hmm?
CYNIC: A yoga mat. So, drink gobs of soda that’s really bad for you so you can get a yoga mat to be healthy. Hmm, something’s askew here.
HOPE: Oh shut up and eat a Reese’s Cup.
And there you have it.
But I do have a fantastic commercial idea for Coke. We went to a football game last year for a teenager in our church. (Really, I think you should just call football games “Pay to talk to your neighbor while sitting on a freezing, hard seat and squint at all the players doing heaven knows what”) After the game was over, we stood gaping at the carnage that surrounded us in way of trash. Food wrappers, napkins, and soda bottles galore. I had this image of a commercial where you pan the camera to a set of bleachers and instead of seeing trash you see TVs laying on their side, Blockbuster DVD rental boxes laying pell mell, maybe a bunch of magazines laying around, pages flapping in the breeze. Well, I thought it was a great idea for Coke.
Excuse me, I need to go get a Reese’s Cup.