Sit down, turn on computer.
Check email. Delete 3 Viagra offers.
Check myspace. Read bulletins.
Check facebook. See who is online. Read latest flair sent by friend. Consider rearraging flair board to include new flair and decide it’s too much work.
Check wordpress for any new comments. Squash disappointment and open a new post.
Stare at screen. Blink. Blink. Try to think of something funny. Consider using the word “poop” over and over, it’s such a hit with Emma and Addie, my audience at home.
Go back to facebook and play a game. Lose at Mahjong for the 14th time in a row. Close facebook.
Get up and visit with co-workers. Sit back down at computer and stare at screen.
Open a new tab and stalk visit all the bloggers I know. Forty minutes later, go back to new post and stare at screen again.
Get up and get a Diet Coke. While up, get a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and sit back down.
Consider what I would do if I met Mr. Reese. Shake his hand, then punch him. Curse the perfect blend of chocolate and peanut buttery goodness.
Stare at the computer again. Open a new tab and surf around. Get kicked off of the internet forty seven times and commence cussing at the computer whispering sweet encouraging things like “You can do it!” while stroking the screen. Realize how dusty the screen is and clean computer for 12 minutes.
While I’m at it, I rearrange files on my desk. Decide I need something salty, so get up and get a handful of Cheez-its.
Stare at the screen and decide it needs some decoration. Place SIGN HERE tabs around the edges of the screen to resemble a lion with a neon yellow mane. Wonder what has happened to my life that I must resort to such loser-ish activity.
Get up and get a Kit Kat. Go on youtube and watch old Mitch Hedburg clips for an hour.
Give up writing for the day and play Scramble. For the rest of the day mentally break down words and drive myself crazy.
Go home and repeat the whole process over again tomorrow.