A day in my life as a blogger

Sit down, turn on computer.

Check email.  Delete 3 Viagra offers.

Check myspace.  Read bulletins.

Check facebook.  See who is online.  Read latest flair sent by friend.  Consider rearraging flair board to include new flair and decide it’s too much work.

Check wordpress for any new comments.  Squash disappointment and open a new post.

Stare at screen.  Blink.  Blink.  Try to think of something funny.  Consider using the word “poop” over and over, it’s such a hit with Emma and Addie, my audience at home.

Go back to facebook and play a game.  Lose at Mahjong for the 14th time in a row.  Close facebook.

Get up and visit with co-workers.  Sit back down at computer and stare at screen.

Open a new tab and stalk visit all the bloggers I know.  Forty minutes later, go back to new post and stare at screen again.

Get up and get a Diet Coke.  While up, get a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup and sit back down. 

Consider what I would do if I met Mr. Reese.  Shake his hand, then punch him.  Curse the perfect blend of chocolate and peanut buttery goodness. 

Stare at the computer again.  Open a new tab and surf around.  Get kicked off of the internet forty seven times and commence cussing at the computer whispering sweet encouraging things like “You can do it!” while stroking the screen.  Realize how dusty the screen is and clean computer for 12 minutes.

While I’m at it, I rearrange files on my desk.  Decide I need something salty, so get up and get a handful of Cheez-its.

Stare at the screen and decide it needs some decoration.  Place SIGN HERE tabs around the edges of the screen to resemble a lion with a neon yellow mane.  Wonder what has happened to my life that I must resort to such loser-ish activity.

Get up and get a Kit Kat.  Go on youtube and watch old Mitch Hedburg clips for an hour.

Give up writing for the day and play Scramble.  For the rest of the day mentally break down words and drive myself crazy. 

Go home and repeat the whole process over again tomorrow.

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16 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by candy0108 on July 18, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    sounds like my day except all the goodies where’s my snacks.. You totally nailed life on the internet I do the same thing almost word for word..

    Reply

  2. Posted by fivemoreminutesplease on July 18, 2008 at 6:20 pm

    where can i apply for a job like yours??? i believe it is my dream job…seriously. it beats what i do now…which is basically the same thing as you, except my work environment is not quite as pleasant. very loud, too many interruptions, and i have to be the mediator for every arugment that occurs during working hours. i also have to cook, clean, drive, and do all while remembering to mind my p’s and q’s…ugh…please…tell me where to sign up!!

    Reply

  3. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on July 18, 2008 at 6:21 pm

    Phew I thought I was the only one to cuss, er- whisper sweet things to my computer.

    Reply

  4. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on July 18, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    Missy, I didn’t include all the actual WORK I do because, really, who wants to read about all that boring mess? But your job sounds busy!

    Reply

  5. Posted by Aunt Melissa on July 18, 2008 at 9:35 pm

    your writing is so hilarious. I laugh often and love reading your blog. Thank you for opening your life to us lucky ones who read your life on-line – and laugh and smile…

    Reply

  6. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on July 18, 2008 at 9:54 pm

    Thank you Auntie Melissa! That was just what I needed to hear -er, read!

    Reply

  7. Posted by fivemoreminutesplease on July 19, 2008 at 3:19 am

    Seriously…I agree with your Aunt. I have to have my daily dose of your writing. I usually laugh out loud, and my children are always like “mom, what are you laughing at”. Funny stuff!!

    Reply

  8. Hey, Kearsie. This reminds me of my job at FBTC when I worked as Theology secretary after they moved me into the hallway office and I didn’t have a boss anymore (after Dr. Cook left). The college was undergoing a transition and I was kind of part of the old and new at the same time. Anyway, I’d play solitaire a LOT and one day a student came up and saw me and asked if my boss knew I played games at work. Smart mouth boy! I got mad and told him yes. The truth was that I didn’t have a boss and seldom had a full day’s worth of work to do. But I did get very familiar with BabyCenter (I was pregnant with my first baby), and Ebay.

    Reply

  9. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on July 21, 2008 at 1:26 pm

    Tami, that job sounds AWESOME! The only job I was ever able to land was being a grader for Dr. Windsor. I got paid a whopping $24. Sometimes he would hand me $25 and make me promise to bring $1 back to him.

    Reply

  10. Posted by Misty on July 21, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    I’m glad I find this in common with so many others. Ah, the life!

    Reply

  11. Posted by Stephanie Smith on July 21, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    Your so funny! I was kinda wondering if you did any work at all.haha
    I do the same thing, sort of. My girls often ask me, like Missy, “mom, what’s so funny”? I do enjoy reading your blog! By the way, do you even rem. me from school?? Just curious!

    Reply

  12. Posted by Stephanie Smith on July 21, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    Oh yeah!
    The sunflowers were beautiful. I should do some too. Except we have a huge dog, Great Pyranese/Anatolian Mix, she’d would destroy it.

    Reply

  13. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on July 21, 2008 at 10:02 pm

    Crap, I was hoping you wouldn’t ask me that. I probably know your face, but don’t have your face and name linked, especially if you got married. And, to tell you the truth, once Lance came along, I had my head so far in his armpit that I was kind of tunnel visioned. But don’t let that keep you from commenting, because I really love it when you do!

    Reply

  14. Posted by Alice Wiggins on July 28, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    I’ve been out of the country (wow, doesn’t that sound great? Well, it was!) and have seriously missed my does of Kearsie. Great to be back & be able to read your blog again. You make me laugh, which at my job is a real help. Keep up the good work!

    Reply

  15. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on July 28, 2008 at 6:29 pm

    Wow, that sounds so glamorous, Alice! “I’ve been out of the country” — Way better than, “I’ve been cleaning toilets and washing underwear…”

    Reply

  16. Posted by Carrie Mace on June 7, 2009 at 4:14 am

    you have really good snacks 🙂
    and you crack me up 🙂

    Reply

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