Fashion trendsetter

Today, I made a bold fashion statement to the world.  I was fearless, and unafraid to face the world with my fashion faux pas.  Well, ok, maybe I was a little afraid. 

What was this admirable feat, you ask?  I left the house without painting my toenails. 

Big deal! you scoff?  Well, that just means you are probably a man.  I live in the South.  Southern women do not leave the house with flip-flops without painting their toenails some colorful shade of femininity.  There are a few random women out there who I know do not partake of this ritual, but their lack of doing this is consistent, much like if you left the house without a colorful dot on your forehead and no one notices because you never leave the house with a dot.  But if you always wore a dot, it would be noticed the one day you chose to not wear the dot.  Sigh, I know, it’s confusing.

While I am happy to be a woman and do not make plans to contact Johns Hopkins for voluntary surgery, I do have some bones to pick with the powers that be who decide what is kosher for women to do and not do. 

For example, let’s discuss the subject of shaving.  Now, I am a shaver.  I have been shaving since I was a wee teen and I shall continue to shave until I am too feeble to hold a razor.  But my problem is, why exactly is it that I am not a female that looks well-groomed unless I have shaved every unfashionable hair on, let’s just say-my legs.  Who out there decided that only the hairless leg was the way to be beautiful?  Or let’s take the armpit-while I prefer to be hairless, it makes deodorant application so much nicer-why must the pit be bare to be acceptable? 

I know in places like Europe this custom is not as wide spread.  For all our Western Civilized ways, that particular practice is not preferred.  It is more common to be au natural.  Perhaps they’re onto something.

Men have it so much easier.  Shut up, you do!  Men only have to shave their faces.  And even then they have the choice of having a beard and/or mustache or to not.  Women do not have this luxury.  I cannot wake up one day, look at myself in the mirror and decide, to heck with it, leg hair it is!  Then I would only have the maintenance of grooming the leg hair.  There could be a whole industry created to cater to the leg hair.  Leg hair products that make the leg hair sleek and shiny, or give it volume for that poofy look.  Little brushes to get the tangles out (it would never tangle!, you scoff?  How would we know?  WE’VE NEVER TRIED IT!).  Tiny adornments to make our legs oh, so prettier.  The sky’s the limit! 

Although, now that I think of it, I’m not sure I want the maintenance of leg hair.  My husband sports a beard which I absolutely love (bow chicka wow wow!).  But I do not love his daily ritual of getting up, getting showered, standing in front of the mirror with a small razor-thingy and trimming any and all stray hairs he deems as unworthy.  He will attempt to clean up, but will inevitably leave roughly 75% of his small, coarse hairs around the sink.  I come behind and try to wipe up the sink, only succeeding in shoving the hairs into the cracks and crevices of the sink.  We do this everyday.  Shower, trim, wipe.  Repeat process everyday until I go crazy.

Ladies (and metrosexual males and professional swimmers)!  Let’s buck this ridiculous system and grow some hair!  Who’s with me?!

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9 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Stephanie Smith on July 15, 2008 at 9:29 pm

    O.k. so I am w/ you on the aggravation of the upkeep and all. I do go days w/out shaving though. My girls are like, “mom your legs are prickley”. Oh well!
    The arm pits stay shaved b/c it’s groos not too and deodorant does go on much better w/out a bunch of hair.
    Oh and I must admit even though I am a southern chick and wear flip flops every day, I do not paint my nails like I should. I think I’m the only one though. I should take more time to. I did do it about a month ago at my sister, just b/c the polish was there mind you, and I barely made it through the door and the kids had all kinds of quest./comments. It was funny!
    Andy shaves all the time too, b/c of the the gotee thing. He doesn’t leave the hair anywhere in the sink. You think great, well, this is what happens at my house. He lays a huge towel neatly over the sink to catch all the hair. Well, to my surprise I always seem to grab the towel he used and spread the hair everywhere in the laundry room/or once I even went to use it to dry off. Now that was a real treat.
    I do enjoy reading your blog!
    Where did you get the name.. sounds like tomatoes?

    Reply

  2. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on July 15, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    How funny! That would be me, too, using the towel to dry off only to have thousands of prickly stubble hairs clinging to my body. Yuck! You can read about my blog name at: https://soundsliketomatoes.wordpress.com/2008/05/13/huh/
    which is my very first blog entry. Thanks for reading!

    Reply

  3. I will join ya!! Okay, I already do. Even here in sunny all year Hawaii, I pretty much dont shave my legs during the winter (habit). And even during the summer, unless I know I am going to the beach, I only shave up to my knees. I HATE shaving my legs. My armpits I dont mind, but then its so quick and easy. But shaving my legs… NO shaving cream protects from niks and bleeding (I now use whatever hair conditioner I am using… works like a charm!!!) I am NEVER warm enough in the shower (cuz my dear hubby keeps the a/c set at 70, which is FREEZING first thing in the morning!!) so I am always shaving off chill bumps along with the hair. meh, I could go on and on about how I have shaving my legs…. lol So ready for fall and sweater weather, when I can stop worrying about razor burn and cut up knees! 😉

    Reply

  4. Posted by Candy on July 16, 2008 at 12:27 am

    umm sorry not with you on this one I would shave twice a day if it made any since I can’t stand to feel hair on my legs at all .. I feel so dirty and nasty and I love silky smooth legs..

    Reply

  5. Yeah, I feel the same way about bathing.

    I’m an artist. My studio is at home. I have no friends to speak of. Why waste water?

    Jesus never bathed as much as we do.

    So, there ya go.

    Reply

  6. Posted by fivemoreminutesplease on July 16, 2008 at 1:47 am

    This is one of my favorite blogs…I read it to my mother. She is completely in love with your writing. She wants you to write a book.

    Reply

  7. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on July 16, 2008 at 1:09 pm

    Tell your mother from her lips to God’s ears! And thanks!

    Reply

  8. Posted by Misty on July 17, 2008 at 5:54 am

    I’m there already and have been since Jaeden was born. Although, I do get self conscious when we go to the beach at times but I pretty much let go of all social norms and only adhere to them on my own terms. Alas, I do still tweeze the brows and this is something I can’t seem to let go! Why is that? I think a man came up with all this plucking, squezzing, shaving, triming for women to do, but that’s just my own opinion! Go al natural girl! If we all stink and are hairy than who’s to know, right?

    Reply

  9. Posted by Carrie Mace on June 7, 2009 at 4:06 am

    i don’t paint the toenails, but on occasion (about 2-3 times a year) I get a pedicure, but even then, only french manicure (or whatever they call a thin white stripe on the edge of your toenail).

    yeah, I could totally join you with the not shaving, but who’s going to convince my hubs? lol

    Reply

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