Ok folks, let’s you and me have a little heart to heart. Now I realize that the possession of a cell phone and the human free will allows conversation to happen just about anywhere, so long as your cell tower allows it. But there is a time and a place. And the Walmart public bathroom is not the time or the place to have a discussion with someone about your weekend plans while you are using the privy. Come on.
Bathroom sounds are bad enough. If it’s not my four year old exclaiming very loudly that she has to poop RIGHT NOW, it’s the elderly woman two stalls away that sounds like she took that song beans, beans, good for the heart a little too seriously. But add to that the cell phone conversation of a woman who is very loudly arguing with her husband that he doesn’t need to know where she is because he doesn’t tell her where he is all the time and so it’s none of his business and she is at Walmart and she will buy what she wants, thank you very much and would he just please stop calling and checking up on her she is a busy woman and has a life, blah blah blah.
Now, that is not to say that I do not multitask at home. When you live in a tiny box with three other warm bodies, two of which who can’t stand a closed door, privacy is very limited and if you want to talk without little pitchers who have ears listening to every word being said, you do what you gotta do. But not in a public setting!
I once was at a Cracker Barrell and was, ahem, visiting my friend, John (what Lance always says) when I heard from the stall next to me:
STALL NEIGHBOR: Ahem…Hello?
ME: … (thinking, should I answer?)
STALL NEIGHBOR: Hello?
ME: … (thinking, is she out of toilet paper?)
STALL NEIGHBOR: Can you hear me?
ME: (About to answer) —
STALL NEIGHBOR: I’m at Cracker Barrell about to have lunch…blah blah blah
I’m telling you folks, people are in the bathrooms with you. It’s bad enough we have to hear each other USING the bathrooms, we don’t want to hear your phone conversations, too!