And really bad eggs

Are you like me in that you hear something which causes you to think about something else which then snowballs into a totally different idea?  You’re not?  Oh dear, maybe I am crazy…

Well, anyways I got to thinking about modern day pirating.  It’s still around, you know, crazy people who hijack boats and resort to violence in bodies of water.  This is such a strange idea.  I don’t really see how this works in today’s uber-technologically sophisticated anti-crime day and age.  But then, people are still grabbing purses from little old ladies in the subway, so maybe it does.

My only real aquaintance with pirating is found in the movies.  Pirates of the Caribbean, Hook, Princess Bride, Muppet Treasure Island…I even watched that really bad pirate movie from the 80’s called The Pirate Movie (ok, secretly I really liked that one).  In fact, there’s even an entire website dedicated to listing all the pirate movies out there. 

It appears in order to be a pirate, based on these movies, one must have no sense of cleanliness, horrible grammar and sound as though forty packs of cigarettes were smoked that day.  Also a great love for rum. (why always rum?  Never vodka or just plain beer.  Perhaps they have never tasted the goodness of Diet Coke.) 

So I got to thinking, if there are modern day pirates, what do they sound like?

Let’s take the popular phrase shiver me timbers.  According to the website called Pirate Talk (do these people have jobs??) it’s a phrase used when taken by surprise.  So do modern day pirates shout “O.M.G.!”?

Ahoy, me hearty.  It’s just a kind of “hello!”  Kind of like a modern day “Yo, homey, wassup!”.  Throw in a high five and you’re a happy pirate.

How about Arrr.   We hear it in our heads when we think of a pirate.  What does it mean exactly?  I think it’s anything said pirate wants it to mean.  Could be a vocal pause (think like a pirate-someone’s just asked me a question, I must play the tough, cool customer and sound really mean so I just shout “Arrr!”).  It could be a “You’re crazy!” (“Captain!  Should we just turn ourselves over to the Marque?!”  “…Arrr!”)

What about the term landlubber.  It’s meant to insult someone’s abilities at sea.  So maybe the modern day politically correct term would be “sailing challenged”?  If so, I am a serious landlubber.

I can’t forget the ever so popular swab the deck from many a pirate movie.  I think modern day translation would be “Yo!  Somebody grab a mop and get to workin!”  (You like how my modern day pirate sounds like a thug?)

And one that gets me every time is the phrase avaste ye.  What a cool way to shout STOP!  The next time my kiddos are doing something wrong, I’ll just shout “Avaste ye scallywags!”  I think they’ll stop, look at me and say “huh?” 

But it would have worked!


10 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by fivemoreminutesplease on June 9, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    Did you know that September 19th (every year) is “International Talk Like A Pirate Day”…just thought you might be interested. 🙂


  2. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on June 9, 2008 at 3:12 pm

    YES! I shall mark it on my calendar and answer the phones here at my job, “Ahoy, me hearties, avast ye calling!”


  3. Posted by Misty on June 9, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    Ahhh…the life of a pirate! To sail the seven seas and make others walk the plank after discovering their mutinous plans. Yo-Ho, a pirates life for me!


  4. My boys are obsessed with pirates. Josh asks me all the time if pirates still exist. We just watched the new Backyardigans pirate show. I’ll have to try some pirate talk. My boys will be thrilled.


  5. I thought you had to be a Pastafarian these days to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day! 😉


  6. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on June 9, 2008 at 9:37 pm

    If you mean RASTAfarian, then I’ll just add a “Hey mon” with my “Shiver me timbers!”
    If you mean PASTAfarian, then load me up some pasta, ye scurvy brute!


  7. Posted by Kamryn on June 9, 2008 at 10:16 pm

    You know, there’s an International Talk Like a Pirate Day…I forget when it is, though…


  8. Posted by Alice Wiggins on June 10, 2008 at 12:11 pm

    I loved the O.M.G. It made me laugh right out loud. And I’m going to mark my calendar for Sept 19. Maybe it will get me a few days off because my boss will think I’m having a breakdown! Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin about. Shiver me timbers, mate!


  9. It could be that it’s always rum, due to “16 men on a dead man’s chest, yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.”


  10. Posted by Carrie Mace on June 5, 2009 at 2:22 am

    have you changed your facebook language to English-pirate? yeah, it’s on there, I did it and was really confused but it made me laugh!


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