After a long day’s work, Lance came home, dragging himself through the door and plopping down in front of the TV. He looked so tired that I willingly handed over the remote control. Predictably, the chatter of sports announcers filled the air as I busied myself folding yet another basket of laundry. Some team won some game (haven’t a clue and don’t particularly care, something about Kobe Bryant and a thing called, what is it- oh yes, a basketball?) and afterwards there was a press conference.
Now, what grabbed my attention was the very solemn faces I saw, Kevin Garnett sitting there answering a barage of questions that were just hilarious to my unsports-tainted mind. I, like so many other females out there, think it is JUST A GAME. I mean, what would it be like if the next time I played Candyland with my two girls and they whoop me yet again I sat down at a press conference and hashed it out. I think it might go something like this…
ME: (sitting look dejected) Next question, please.
RANDOM REPORTER: Uh, yeah, Kearsie, so how did you feel when you started the game?
ME: Well, I went into the game like I always do, confident, sure I was going to make it to the Candy Castle first. That’s what the goal was and that’s what I was playing for.
REPORTER: Let’s talk about your earlier setbacks.
ME: (shaking my head) I thought I was doing really well until I hit that first Licorice Space. I missed a turn and it allowed the girls to get ahead of me. That sneaky Lord Licorice really slowed me down.
REPORTER: What were your thoughts when Addie got the Rainbow Trail and skipped ahead of you?
ME: I was really hoping to get either the Rainbow Trail or Gumdrop Pass, but it just wasn’t my game.
REPORTER: How did you feel about the cards you pulled out of the stack?
ME: I’m just like everyone else playing the game- I get the card on the top of the stack. I was hoping I might pull a Two-block color card more than I did, but (I shrug) I play the hand I’m dealt, ya know? Right at the end of the game, I might could have pulled head if I got a Two-block card in purple, but I got one orange block. So I just couldn’t pull ahead.
REPORTER: What motivated you to play another round of the game when Emma beat you?
ME: I guess I was just thinking about the odds, I mean, how many times can a six year old beat you at Candyland? I thought I had a decent shot of getting a win under my belt.
REPORTER: Do you have any thoughts about playing again?
ME: I won’t underestimate my opponent, that’s for sure. I went into the game cocky. I’ve learned my lesson. I’ll have to have a better strategy next time.
Of course, I don’t get paid millions for playing a game of Candyland.