It’s just a game

After a long day’s work, Lance came home, dragging himself through the door and plopping down in front of the TV.  He looked so tired that I willingly handed over the remote control.  Predictably, the chatter of sports announcers filled the air as I busied myself folding yet another basket of laundry.  Some team won some game (haven’t a clue and don’t particularly care, something about Kobe Bryant and a thing called, what is it- oh yes, a basketball?) and afterwards there was a press conference.

Now, what grabbed my attention was the very solemn faces I saw, Kevin Garnett sitting there answering a barage of questions that were just hilarious to my unsports-tainted mind.  I, like so many other females out there, think it is JUST A GAME.  I mean, what would it be like if the next time I played Candyland with my two girls and they whoop me yet again I sat down at a press conference and hashed it out.  I think it might go something like this…

ME:  (sitting look dejected) Next question, please.

RANDOM REPORTER:  Uh, yeah, Kearsie, so how did you feel when you started the game?

ME:  Well, I went into the game like I always do, confident, sure I was going to make it to the Candy Castle first.  That’s what the goal was and that’s what I was playing for.

REPORTER:  Let’s talk about your earlier setbacks.

ME:  (shaking my head)  I thought I was doing really well until I hit that first Licorice Space.  I missed a turn and it allowed the girls to get ahead of me.  That sneaky Lord Licorice really slowed me down.

REPORTER:  What were your thoughts when Addie got the Rainbow Trail and skipped ahead of you?

ME:  I was really hoping to get either the Rainbow Trail or Gumdrop Pass, but it just wasn’t my game.

REPORTER:  How did you feel about the cards you pulled out of the stack?

ME:  I’m just like everyone else playing the game- I get the card on the top of the stack.  I was hoping I might pull a Two-block color card more than I did, but (I shrug) I play the hand I’m dealt, ya know?  Right at the end of the game, I might could have pulled head if I got a Two-block card in purple, but I got one orange block.  So I just couldn’t pull ahead.

REPORTER:  What motivated you to play another round of the game when Emma beat you?

ME:  I guess I was just thinking about the odds, I mean, how many times can a six year old beat you at Candyland?  I thought I had a decent shot of getting a win under my belt.

REPORTER:  Do you have any thoughts about playing again?

ME:  I won’t underestimate my opponent, that’s for sure.  I went into the game cocky.  I’ve learned my lesson.  I’ll have to have a better strategy next time.

Of course, I don’t get paid millions for playing a game of Candyland.


17 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Lance on June 6, 2008 at 2:16 pm

    Freakin’ hilarious post!


  2. Posted by Lance on June 6, 2008 at 2:22 pm

    So Kearsie, rumor has it that you are frustrated with management about your lack of a contract extension. Did that affect your focus during your game?


  3. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on June 6, 2008 at 2:28 pm

    I’m sorry, I can’t comment on that now. Next question, please.


  4. Posted by Missy on June 6, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    So, do you see any future hopes of adding other games to your portfolio? Memory? Operation, maybe?


  5. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on June 6, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    My agent and I have talked over the possibility of branching out to other games. I’m leaving my options open. I’m a free agent.


  6. In an unprecedented move, it’s been said that both players on the opposing team were named MVP. Are you ready for a rematch with competitors of that caliber?


  7. Posted by Candy on June 7, 2008 at 11:08 am

    too funny even the comments and it sound very much like the real line of questioning I love Nascar but I often ask Greg did they just ask that question because they seem sooo rediculous some times…


  8. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on June 8, 2008 at 1:35 am

    Am I ready for a rematch? I don’t know. I had no idea how committed they were to winning. I think I’ll have to really focus in my practices, you know- card pulling, game piece moving, reviewing the colors…I’ll have to really step it up next time we meet again for a game. But they both deserve the MVP award, they just played better.


  9. Posted by Mom on June 8, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    Given the preformance of the opposing team, is it possible that either of them could have been hopped up on…steriods or SUGAR or something of that nature? It wouldn’t be the first time a MVP was caught breaking the rules… and their stamina is kinda suspicious. How many players do you know who could preforme like that with a cast on? That Emma…ya just don’t know where her hidden strengths are and Addie is dyno-mite in a small package. They really make an outstanding team but I still wouldn’t rule out a sucrose surge.


  10. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on June 8, 2008 at 6:48 pm

    I’ve thought about the possibility of testing for foreign stimulants such as sugar, but the presence of last year’s Halloween candy makes it too easy. Perhaps I should chew on a Tootsie Roll our next game, to up my chances for playing skills.


  11. Posted by fivemoreminutesplease on June 9, 2008 at 4:06 am

    funny how this entry has the most comments of all…lol


  12. Posted by Alice Wiggins on June 9, 2008 at 11:59 am

    That was a SUPERB post and I have often sat and thought the same things while Fred was watching sports interviews…did they really ask that question? And I think you should get paid at least 200 grand for the game…for crying out loud, you’re worth it!


  13. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on June 9, 2008 at 1:32 pm

    I think you’re right. Perhaps I should consider going on a strike until I get a raise?


  14. Posted by Misty on June 9, 2008 at 5:34 pm

    Even pros like yourself catch bad days. Keep up the training and you’ll make a come back!


  15. The scuttlebutt has it that Emma and Addie are thinking of branching out to Hi-Ho Cherry-O. Any truth to this rumor?


  16. Posted by soundsliketomatoes on June 12, 2008 at 1:31 pm

    I don’t know. The next time they spank me in a game, I’ll set up a press conference and you can ask them. They’ll probably say yes, and could they have the game for Christmas, please.


  17. Posted by Carrie Mace on June 5, 2009 at 2:18 am

    very funny…’cept – i hate candyland


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