Three blogs in one day! I am so wordy today!
41. I cannot chew gum for more than a few minutes. It hurts my jaw and I’m convinced all my years as a child chewing away at whale fat or whatever it is has made me have TMJ.
42. As a child, I kept my chewed gum on a gum keeper shaped like a porcelain cat. Chewed wads of gum would sit there, overnight, collecting germ-infested amoeba and the next day I would put this same piece of gum back into my mouth and chew it some more. Is that not the most disgusting thing ever.
43. When I leave the house in the mornings, I almost always have wet hair. I know this is tacky but I don’t blow-dry it because a) I don’t have time and b) I don’t care.
44. The longest I’ve ever gone without a shower was four days. It was in the Virgin Islands and rather than taking a shower at the back of the sailboat with a sprayer that sort of spit at you, I chose to wait until we docked again. My hair wasn’t even greasy, is that bad? Perhaps my pH balance is off somewhere.
45. While we were in the Virgin Islands, I pooped in the Baths. I know that’s gross, but you do what you gotta do, ya know? I discovered something- poop floats.
46. I say the word warm like “arm” with a “w”. I am the only person I know to do this. Most people say it like “war” with an “m”. And I think they’re weird.
47. I once dated a guy that told me he thought I looked “thick”. This was intended to be a compliment, but it only became the knife that has yet to be removed. Durn you, bad complimenter!
48. I think I can dance, but I probably can’t. It’s one of life’s cruel tricks.
49. That goes for singing, as well.
50. Is it bad that I still use the same blush from ten years ago? And even worse that I use it as eye shadow? I know, I really need an intervention.