While I’m basking in the steamy and exotic winds of Florida, my buddy Kim, from Insanity Kim agreed to my begging and pleading kind request to do today’s Keyboard Confessions, or “KC” for those in the know. Or the dorks who like to abbreviate stuff. Ahem. Anyways, thanks again Kim! And [...]
Archive for May, 2009
28 May
Leavin on a jet plane…
I am on my way to the humid land of Florida to meet with a bunch of ladies and attempt to quell my mouth from saying inane things like BOOGERS and instead fill their minds with good things, like the Bible. It’s like Social Turret’s. I might need medication.
Tomorrow, I shall have a guest blogger. [...]
27 May
Search Engine Terms
Tis time for another glimpse into the minds of the weirdos fine people who stumble upon this here blog.
permed afro hairstyle for white women
Now, what strikes me as funny is TWO different people googled that and hit my blog. Because I have a permed afro hairstyle for a white woman. Or because of this picture:
can nads [...]
26 May
Motivator
I was watching Resident Evil on Oxygen this weekend, and I kept hearing the word “Motivator” every few seconds. It took me a few minutes to realize that the Movie Cuss Word Replacer Person had replaced the word “Motivator” with the Grandmother Of All Cuss Words. You know which one. The two-word cuss word. The one that [...]
22 May
Keyboard Confessions, the short version
1. It’s been a good hair week. In fact, It’s been a good hair weeks. This is a first. Also, that is really bad grammar.
2. I’m thinking the hair is in awe of the sexay eyebrows and are in deep smit, thus it is tameable.
3. The acne is clearing up too. It only took drinking [...]
20 May
On losing weight
Folks, I think I might have solved the problem of weighing yourself. You’ll never dread the scale again. Just do it like this:
This last week, I’ve been living a new alien life. I’ve been dieting and exercising and by golly, I’ve lost 7 lbs.
What kick started this new bizarre way of living was a little [...]
19 May
On waxing
To wax my upper lip or not, that is the question…
So last week, I did it. I got my eyebrows waxed. I no longer look like I have brown fuzzy caterpillars waging war against each other on my forehead. Now, they are sexay caterpillars, finely tuned and toned caterpillars, with their backs arched coyly.
It went [...]
18 May
On gleeking
Since so many of you did not know what “gleeking” is, I thought I would take the time to expound on this. Also, this will prove to you how extremely classy I am.
Gleek: A stream of saliva from a person’s mouth.
Also, a disgusting image, no?
So when I say I accidentally “gleeked” on someone at Blockbuster, [...]
15 May
Keyboard Confessions
1. It is completely impossible to act cool after accidentally gleeking on someone at Blockbuster.
2. It’s even harder to be cool when you trip on the big black mat leaving the store and practically smash through the doors.
3. I may have to leave the city to feel cool again. And switch to Netflix.
4. Although they detract [...]
13 May
Happy Blog Anniversary to meeeeee
Is it an anniversary? or a birthday? Hmm.
Either way, a year ago today, I wrote my very first blog. It was short. It was simple. It didn’t get much action. But it got me going, and for a year I’ve been writing. 190 posts, over 1600 comments and lots of blog buddies.
I have learned a [...]
